Hi everyone,
My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) have been together since high school, and this December will be 6 years together.
For the last 2 years I have wanted to get engaged, and while he claims he does too, nothing ever happens and there always seems to be an excuse.
Last year (2024) for my birthday, he took me to look at engagement rings and had me pick one. Nothing ever happened. This year, he told me he was going to propose by the end of the year. It is now late November, and last night he had a conversation with me where he said he “wants to be a better man” before he pops the question. While I understand the intention behind that, it felt like a slap in the face because I have stuck by his side through the worst years of his life and still, the thing I wanted most was a real commitment. While he was the worst version of himself, I still wanted to be with him forever.
This is now the second year in a row he has teased me with an engagement, and then come up with an excuse as to why he can’t/wont. It seems like he is waiting for the perfect scenario, perfect moment, perfect everything, but in my opinion, waiting for the perfect fantasy to come true is not the way to do it.
I understand that we are young and still figuring out who we are, but after 6 years I am growing impatient and feeling like if he truly wanted to be with me, he would just commit. Every day I have people asking me what he is waiting for, why we aren’t engaged yet, etc., and honestly, it’s humiliating as a woman to be constantly asked why my man hasn’t proposed.
The longer time goes on the less and less I feel commitment from him, and when I express my frustrations, I am met with name calling and told that I must not love him if “all I care about is a shiny rock.”
It’s not a money thing, either, he has the ability and funds, and he chooses to prioritize spending money on concerts, festivals, etc.
I just feel unsure about everything. If there are any people out there who have been in a similar situation as me, what did you do? If you stayed, how did your relationship end up? If you left, did you regret it, or were you glad?
Any help/advice is appreciated. Thank you.