I love my girlfriend she's an amazing person but I can't help but think the relationship should end.
We've been dating for 10 months now and we've had our ups and downs. There's been times where I was an emotional mess and needed support and she was there for me and vice versa. But it's becoming to much for me.
Lately she's had a hard time with school having to go an extra semester instead of graduate on time which sucks but her parents pay for it. It won't negatively effect her but she's cried and acted like the world was ending for a whole week. I can only care so much about the problem before I just get annoyed with it.
She constantly says no friends but does have people in her life I (and most people) would consider her friends. I don't have a ton of friends but I have some and we hang out at the same time every week. This has become a huge problem for her and anytime I mention hanging out with them she gets really sad and cold. She's even cried about me going to hang out with my friends on the same time every week. It makes me feel like a horrible person leaving her like that but I know I shouldn't have to put up with that. It's gotten to the point lately where me mentioning hanging out with them has made her go from a good mood to having her whole night ruined and by extension ruining mine.
I've tried having little parties or double dates so she can meet my friends but every time I do she doesn't enjoy it and complains. She'll say "she's overstimulated" or "she's tired" or "wants to cancel" and almost every time I tell her that we can leave or cancel but she refuses and just sulks. When we leave she'll complain about everything and it's just exhausting hearing it.
She has her own mental health problems like cutting and idealizing suicide. I told her I love her and support her but I have trauma with suicide so her just talking about it all the time in a positive light hurts me deeply. Lately she has tried to get better about it but sometimes she'll slip up.
I tried to have a very personal talk with her about a lot of these issues a few days ago. It ended with her crying begging me not to leave promising she'll change (she's seeing a therapist and psychiatrist) and the whole time I literally didn't feel anything. I should've felt relief or sad or even frustrated but I just stared at the ceiling numb.
After our talk she's very distant and seemingly cold. The best way I can describe it is her using corporate speak very professional sounding with no emotion in anything. She wouldn't keep a conversation going, would only let me hold her hand if I asked, etc. When I mentioned to her how I felt how she was acting she only responded with "I'm sorry you feel that way" and would refuse to talk anymore about it.
Last night she refused to cuddle or any affection but about 20 minutes later hugged me as tight as she could and cried. I tried asking her what's wrong and wanting to talk about it but she once again wouldn't no matter how hard I pushed.
I won't pretend I'm perfect and there's been times I pissed her off or accidentally hurt her but I literally don't know what else I can do. I don't want to break up with her but it seems more like my only option each day.