How do you get over the embarrassment of ‘falling for someone?’
My ex isn’t a guy a miss but the hurt haunts me enough to constantly feel either embarrassed or pissed off.
When he told me he wanted a short term relationship but followed it up with, ‘But you are changing my mind’, I believed him.
When he said that he wanted to post me more yet hadn’t stuck to any of his other promises in the almost year we dated? I believed it and kept hoping.
When he said that I might be too mentally immature to keep up with him after he moved out and I thought that he just needed to learn more about my life (I had a ton of savings that I blew through for him).
When he said that he literally felt guilty when looking at me and I actually apologized-
It’s embarrassing. I don’t care if that was my first relationship or not, looking back on all those things I did for a man who couldn’t do a thing for me was so disgusting…
That I’m starting to have issues actually having feelings for anyone or any interest in relationships entirely. There’s been multiple offers and flirtatious moments but I feel nothing.
I just feel so embarrassed when people confess to me or even the thought of love now.
I can’t even make platonic relationships work out anymore because I just feel no interest in people and I’m scared. I used to be obsessed with people but now I just schedule things to catchup and go home early.
It’s not even that he took my light, he just made me feel like nothing was ever truly good.
I am such an idiot.
I still haven’t cried and it’s been 2 months.