Me 18M and my GF 19F, recently broke up, in the past she had a long distance relationship of 4 years and like a week after they broke up we started talking, granted, in the beginning she asked me for some time alone to organize her thoughts, like 5 months, but in the end we ended up becoming a couple 1 month after talking, almost 2.
We recently celebrated the 10 months.
2 months ago we talked and she said she had been feeling bad because she was thinking about that time alone she needed and to find herself in solitude and to know herself, in the end we both cried but ahe decided that she didnt want to lose me and wanted to keep the relationship going.
4 days ago we broke up, she said she really needed this time to be alone and discover herself, but that she loved me and the relationship wasnt the problem.
Yesterday we talked and she still had my face id, a number in her password in my honor, my photos in her favorites and even the WhatsApp wallpaper being a photo a kiss of us. She said that she loved me, missed me and she had a tiny hope that we would go back, but she couldntbring herself to ask me to wait for her because she didnt want to hurt me and was unsure about how much time she needed.
But in the end of the conversation, she looked at me with those beautiful eyes of her and that gaze that told she was in love with me and asked me to wait for her.
I called her in the night because i was feeling anxious and alone and she told me to not wait and because she didnt know what would happen and she didnt even know what she wanted, but i ended up telling her: "Im going to wait for you, i love you with all my heart, I know you want to wait for you, but you are unaure and dont know what you want, but i know deep down you do, im gonna give you your time and i will take this leap of faith because i love you and i will wait" She told she loved me, thank you for everything and for understanding her, that it really meant a lot for her.
The thing is: I know she still loves me, misses me, the relationship wasnt the problem, and she deeps down really wants to go back in a future but is unsure; But even with that im feeling anxious all the time, close people to me told me its normal and with time it goes away, but i really feel bad as hell. I miss her so much and Im willing to wait but im scared that we never go back because the relationship was beautiful.
I guess that what i really need is some advice on how to manage myself and if someone went trough the same experience i need to know how much time it took or what to expect or really any comfort. I really want to wait but the future scares me a lot. 💔