I am getting better at my American small talk. I love that America’s will tell you random thing about their lives. A worker at a coffee shop will tell you “My husband just had knee surgery” or a random lady will tell “My daughter is visiting from university”. I love this about americas and this is not a part of life where I am from.
What is your go to small talk? What are some unique ones you say besides “how is your day going?”
Apologies, English is not my first language!!!
34 comments
Talking about the weather is very common, even as just a conversation starter.
“Where are you from?” And establishing a mutual interest or connection
Well, once I’ve exchanged some pleasantries and I’m having an actual conversation, I like to ask, “What keeps you busy in life?”
It avoids the tedious, ‘What do you do for a living?’ or somesuch. This way, they will choose what defines themselves instead. And for the smartasses on this forum, I’ve never had anyone cop out on that question.
Asking people about their pets.
I like to ask how ripe people like their bananas, I prefer a very ripe banana, with nice brown spots all over and some splotches here and there.
I’m interested in how others like their bananas as well!
Sports are a good place to go.
I compliment … clothing mainly or occasionally hair styles.
I love that outfit! That’s a great tie. I like your tee
I especially like to compliment little kids with light up shoes. “Your shoes light up! That’s so cool! Mine don’t”
The last small talk I engaged in was while I was being wheeled in for surgery last week. So yeah, I’d say it’s pretty much everywhere. I don’t really remember what we said; I might have mentioned that my daughter is moving to Japan.
I agree with someone else that said a compliment.
The outfit someone’s wearing, or their hairstyle, or their new shoes?
They probably put a fair bit of thought/effort into those things, hoping someone would notice.
Notice. Even if it doesn’t turn into a conversation, it’ll make someone feel good about themselves.
“How’s the local sports team?”
–Monk
I’m autistic, so if someone stands too close to me for too long im likely to start talking about my fish or what books im reading
I have moderate success with this
Definitely depends on the context, but my top go-toe are probably complimenting something they’re wearing/something about their appearance or, “Are you from here/the area originally?”
Just in passing, like with a random encounter at a coffee shop or store, the weather is usually my go to.
It’s sunny, say sure is a beautiful day we’re having. If it’s rainy, you can say, boy it’s really coming down or something haha. People like it where I am, especially older people.
If there is a holiday coming up, that’s always a good one. “You ready for Thanksgiving? Yeah, me neither.”
I hate hate hate small talk with the burning passion of 1000 suns. However, it is unfortunately required to participate in society I suppose.
What I’ve done is I have studied small talk and now I have sort of memorized a dialogue tree along with a handful of common topics and responses to start with so I can usually bluff my way through it when there’s little hope of escaping it
Have you read any good books lately or seen any good movies usually works pretty well
I don’t have a go-to conversation starter because I tend to make small talk in reaction to whatever is happening around me or with the other person. That said, a compliment is always a safe bet. I’m a woman and when I compliment another women, we usually end up chatting for a little bit before going our separate ways.
Best small talk for when you are on a business trip is to ask people about their “travel points strategy.” Oh boy, you will get people talking. Everyone wants to share and learn tips on maximizing credit card and rewards points, especially if they travel a lot.
Sometimes the best way is to ask a question if it’s relevant. I was standing in line at a cafeteria-style restaurant that I stopped in at on a road trip so I didn’t know anything about it and I asked the guys in line behind me what they recommended because they were obviously repeat customers. I can’t remember the details but there was something a little bit unusual about the way you ordered so they helped me out with that. I didn’t talk to them too long beyond that but it was all friendly and they were helpful.
If you’re waiting in line at a tourist attraction you can always ask “Have you been here before? This is my first time.”
I live in Florida and whenever I wear my Yankees hat a fellow New Yorker will always strike up a convo with me.
I love complimenting people. Usually women. I always say “omg I love your…hair, shirt, sunglasses, purse, etc. I’m a woman and love getting compliments as well.
I saw a meme about how if you treat life like a video game, and just start talking to any random stranger in a bar or wherever and you ask them if they’ve heard any gossip lately, they will just start telling you about all sorts of shit, kinda like starting a side quest in a Bethesda game
It entirely depends on how much I actually want to engage in small talk with that purpose. If it’s a stranger I don’t intend to see again that level of interest is usually zero. In that case I’ll just politely respond, but in a way that doesn’t naturally continue the conversation, hoping the conversation just dies on its own.
If it’s someone I might want to build a relationship with I’d probably ask where are you from or something like that and build from there.
From the south US, weather is top topic. It is followed by a compliment on hair, nails or outfit and where you acquired the look. If you are wearing a college logo, inquiry about the most recent or upcoming game will happen. Where you’re from is going to be asked, and then a follow up about someone or something place there will be discussed. Southerners live to talk, and honestly, we drive each other nuts with it at times.
The weather is also a good one.
“Gosh that cold front came in so quickly I barely had time to bring in my plants!!”
Tip: NEVER ask a woman when she is due. 👶 Even if she definitely looks pregnant… it could be a tapeworm (probably not), or that she holds extra weight in a ball-shape, etc.
I like to talk about my most recent dental exam, how much plaque I had, how the hygienist lectured me about flossing… ‘you gotta get the floss deep in there, push hard, back and forth up and down, are ya doing that?’. So annoying, of course I am!
If I got x-rays I try to show them slides on my phone, which is usually rebuffed, i dunno people are squeamish about that I guess. I tell them how my dentist looks exactly like Conan O’Brian, but he definitely is not funny, and how they have these little chairs outside the windows for the squirrels, which I think is adorable. I list the freebies he gives me on the way out, toothpaste, toothbrush, plaque picks, floss, all those things.
If all that doesn’t convince them to avoid me in the future I give up.
Most of mine is at the market. It’s either about where something has been moved or the prices. People always chat with me at the market. No idea why.
There are always the classics like the weather, the recent performance of the local sports team, or some recent major media (movie, hit TV show, etc). I personally like to throw in more offbeat/niche things, personal interests and such. Like, I’m really into astronomy, so often instead of the weather, ill bring up astronomical stuff “Got some great views of that newest comet last night, it sure is something to look at!” or whatever.
Shared experiences. Just the other day an older man made a comment about the ridiculous price of groceries (at the grocery store), we exchanged a few comments commiserating with each other.
I’ve never gotten the appeal of small talk, but then again, I’m non-neurotypical (undiagnosed but likely what used to be called Aspergers and is now ASD level 1 as that’s what my son got diagnosed with and he’s basically the same as me at his age.)
I also don’t really “get” the appeal of spectator sports, but I used to follow baseball just to have SOMETHING to talk about with neurotypical dudes.
These days, unlike when I was younger when it was for nerds, pretty much anyone at least 15 years younger than me (maybe even 10) plays video games, and I just talk about that.
“How’r you?”, “good n’ you?”
That’s about it.
I hate small talk and am an awkward person so I usually make a self deprecating joke and it starts a fun conversation and makes the whole interaction less awkward.
I love talking to people actually, sort of am both an introvert and extrovert. I just hate talking about small things that have no substance I guess? But I can get by doing what I said above.
Did you see the traffic (or absence of traffic) on (any nearby road that usually has notable traffic (or usually doesn’t have traffic))? Yeah it’s unusual today, i bet it’s (an event people are going to or from, weather condition, the weekend, etc)
We talk about anything in the south. It’s more hey, how are you and off from there. It’s noticing things. Like if you have a knee brace on. Or buying a lot of snack foods. We’ll make a cute comment and see where it goes. Many times it ends up to a bbq invite! It’s just taking the time to show you notice and care. But not that you’re a busybody and gossip.
Good luck and nice to have y’all here!