I 20m for years all I can remember is that I am to ugly for anyone. 90% of the time I am removed on social media once my face is shown. This has still not changed but I've turned it into a game. Now whenever a girl asks what I look like I tell them ahead of time I am chopped and that any feedback would be appreciated. I send the picture and I get removed. I know I am ugly and it use to bother me a-lot more but now I just get this random high from women rejecting me. I even do it irl with girls who are genuinely interested in me.
I just can't see a girl finding me attractive due to years of rejection so this coping mechanism has somewhat worked. It feels safe. Does anyone do something similar? Am I just insane?