I (41F) recently dated a guy who turned out to be a very heavy snorer. The relationship ended for other reasons, but after we slept together the first time, I basically avoided spending the night again because I got zero sleep. I never told him the real reason — I’d make excuses to go back to my place — but I could tell he was disappointed, and he’d often mention how much he wished I’d stay over.
Since the relationship was already heading toward an end for unrelated reasons, we never discussed the snoring problem. But now I’m genuinely curious for future situations:
Is it reasonable to bring up loud, disruptive snoring early in a relationship and ask a new partner to look into it medically? When is it appropriate to mention it — after the first night? After a few times? Would bringing it up too soon be rude? And finally, is it fair to consider chronic, sleep-ruining snoring a dealbreaker?
I’d really love to hear from people who have dealt with this — whether you were the snorer or the partner losing sleep. How did you handle it? What worked, and what didn’t?