Hey there guys. I'm 36 and my partner is 22, we met about a month ago and became official about a week ago. He lives around the corner from me and wanted to see me a whole lot for a couple of weeks and was all over me, talking about me like I was the hottest & most handsome guy ever, etc etc, and he was the one that wanted to get into a relationship, so I agreed since I do love being with him and wanted to see this grow.
He texts me all the time, makes future plans with me (we're driving home for Thanksgiving, quite far, we happen to be from the same area) and he stopped taking prep two weeks ago since we got together, but he just doesnt stop by to see me very often since about a week and a half ago. We'll fuck like twice a week and maybe do other things sometimes, which is a fine pace for me, but he was saying how he might reduce sleepovers to about once a week since hes so busy with work, which will probably make sex once a week.
His job consists of a lot of early shifts (waking up at 1 -4 am), hes a manager and works over 40+ hours so he's very tired and drained sometimes, totally get that. He also just started this position recently. But Friday, Saturday and Sunday he wont come see me if I don't say anything to him about it. He goes straight home and naps, or goes to the gym or hangs with his roommate. I think for being as close in proximity as we are it's a shame we wont see each other for a couple of days. I work from home and am much more available. I feel like his puppy dog phase and him wanting to see me so much kind of abruptly ended and it feels kind of shitty for me who still wants to see him all the time. it also feels too early in the relationship for this to happen?
I've brought all these things up and even asked him if he's still as attracted to me as he was when we first met and he said yes, he's just super busy. I get that. but something is off. We picked out a fish for him to keep together and he has it at his place, I asked to come see it the other day and he said nah not today, maybe some other time. I find that peculiar since I only wanted to stop by for 5 minutes to see the fish and then go on my way to the park. ive been to his place only once but hes been to mine a ton.
I feel like I'm getting mixed signals and that it's way too early in a relationship to be feeling this way. I want in person talks and phone calls to be more frequent but he seems content with texting me about everything hes doing throughout the day, seems like his way of bonding but it isn't enough for me. I'm not sure if I should just break this off or if I'm overreacting. I would massage him and cook for him and let him nap here after work and have offered many times but he just doesnt take the offers as much lately. I asked him if he even still wants to be in a relationship cause something felt so off to me and he said he absolutely does. he does confide some very personal things to me, some things even his best friends dont know he claims, so he obviously trusts me and wants to get closer, but in my experience during this phase see you want to see your partner almost every day even if youre busy with work. if hes out of work at 11 am – 12 pm almost everyday and even then most days he wont come to even say hello for an hour, is that not a bad sign?
So far I see him the two sleepovers a week and he stays until 2pm the next day cause he values his alone time and wants to be at home for a while before going to bed early for work. valid. but something still feels off…
Am I overthinking this? I've had so many talks with him about wanting to see him more already the past week and a half or so that I dont want to beat a dead horse but he doesnt seem to get what makes a relationship work and the compromise it takes. I get his age is a huge factor but id also think that so early in the relationship he should want to see me more just…naturally. I think if this continues I might just break up.
I need some advice and possibly a different perspective.
TLDR: We've only been seeing each other about a month and dating for a week and a half, but despite living around the corner from each other he makes very little efforts to see me recently. His job is crazy busy so that could be part of it, but I feel like it's too soon for the "honeymoon" phase to be over.