(23F) and (27M) long-distance relationship for 5 years. i love him so much, and he’s genuinely such a good person. he loves me too, i know that.
we’re both really busy with work and school, him more than me, and i know he has a lot on his plate. he still tries to call and talk to me every day and i really appreciate that. it’s just that sometimes it still doesn’t feel like enough. our conversations have become surface level, small talk, quick updates, but not the deep, meaningful connection we used to have. and that’s what hurts the most.
when we’re together in person, it’s perfect. everything feels right. i’m calm, happy, and it just feels like home. but when we’re apart, it’s like that closeness fades, and i end up feeling really alone even though we’re still together.
he’s not great with communication in general. he doesn’t text much, takes a while to reply, and doesn’t really open up about how he’s feeling unless i ask. and i’m the opposite. i like talking, sharing little things, feeling like i’m part of his day. i’m not asking for constant texting, i just want to feel connected.
i’ve told him how it makes me feel so many times. he always says he understands and will try, and i truly believe he means it, but it always ends up back in the same place. things get better for a few days, and then slowly go back to how they were.
i don’t want to lose him. i love him more than anything. but i’m tired. it’s starting to feel one sided, and i don’t know how to keep doing this without it breaking me.
how do i handle feeling this disconnection even though he’s trying? How do i find peace without feeling like i’m constantly begging for attention or depth?
TL;DR: i’ve been in a 5 year long distance relationship (23F, 27M). we both love each other and he really tries, but our communication is so surface level now that i feel disconnected and lonely even though he calls every day. i don’t want to lose him, but i don’t know how to handle feeling this way anymore.