So during the course of therapy, marriage counseling and doing lots of soul searching, it has come to my (46f) attention that no one has ever truly loved me in any of my relationships.
When i was 23, My first husband and high school sweetheart never even proposed. Our families planned our wedding and it was forced. I could never get his attention, his friends were more important, only his hobbies mattered. We divorced by the time I was 27. I wanted to have happily ever after but it’s hard to have a relationship with someone that just wants to pretend you don’t exist. This one was very selfish.
Second, when I was 28-29, seemed to have used me and the moment I wouldn’t take his crap, he cheated and found someone else. He was very bipolar, selfish and narcissistic. Actually diagnosed…
Current husband (41m) (we started dating when I was 36) doesn’t seem to really love me either. It’s almost like he just wants something from me. He just exists. He doesn’t go out of his way to take care of me. We are in therapy and have been for months. She doesn’t have high hopes of resolving the issues.
Is this normal? Is the romance I read in books really just fiction and not something that truly exists?
Were you madly in love with your spouse? Do they love you back?