My husband and I have been married for 9 years. It’s always bothered me that on our wedding day I gave him written vows and he never gave me any. We had talked before about how neither of us wanted to speak our vows to each other in front of everyone, we decided to exchange written vows instead. Only… I never got any.
We also included a tradition in our ceremony where every year on our anniversary we would read letters that we wrote each other while we drank from our specialized wine glasses. The first year went fine but the years following I had to remind him, eventually nag him. Then I stopped and so did the letters and the tradition. I have 4 letters out of our 9 years. This year I mentioned the letters a lot leading up to our anniversary, I told him how I missed exchanging them and I told him I had already written mine. He said multiple times that he was going to write his. We even pushed off our anniversary this year by a few weeks and I still didn’t receive anything. I’m sick of bringing up the letters, I’m tired of feeling like I have to nag. It honestly just makes me feel like I’m not worth the time, it makes me feel unwanted and lonely.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
How do I express to him how much this really upsets me and always has? I’ve talked to him about it before and clearly nothing changed. What do I say to get him to understand?