Real talk… what actually makes you stop on someone’s profile ? (especially want to hear from girls)

18 comments

1. First of all, when they actually write something. I’ve swiped past like 20 no bio profiles in a row.

   Beyond that I look for if they actually write anything about themselves that I can connect with. Most of the time men are just saying things like “want to get off the apps” or “looking for my partner in crime,” which is fine I guess but doesn’t give me any reason to think we’d get along (and also makes me feel like they just want a relationship so badly and don’t care who it’s with, but I try not to let that assumption guide me.)

   I like when men name their hobbies and character traits so I know if we’ll get along. Good sentence structure and punctuation matters more to me than is reasonable, making an original joke or showing any character will knock me right out. The bar is low haha.

2. Genuine interests. Not just “food, wine, and travel.” Everyone likes those things.

   Skip the group photos where I’m playing detective trying to figure out which one is you. And take off the sunglasses in at least some pics.

   Show actual personality. Saw a profile once of a guy obsessed with vintage board games and I would’ve swiped right just to hear him talk about it.

   If you’re unsure what works, you can try running your profile through dating simulator sites like Chatvisor. Get real feedback from girl’s perspective on what‘s actually stands out.

   But honestly just be specific. “Chronically early to everything” tells me why more about you than “love to laugh and have fun.”

3. Having a proper, filled out account is the most important. I see so many blank bios or just low effort, that’s an instant no from me. Personally, I want as much info about you as possible, hobbies etc. If you think it’s dumb, trust me it’s not. Just be yourself and original!! For example, as an Australian, I see so many boys’ profiles say they love a good chicken parmigiana. It gets a bit boring when I see that for the tenth time haha.

   As many photos as you can, preferably of yourself, then some with friends, then pets or a hobby of yours that can strike up a conversation (bonus points if you draw)

4. Thoughtful prompts and a bio, diverse photos, no pics with sunglasses, holding a fish, or mirror pics of dudes flexing, your political standing visible, not mentioning travel 2 million times by way of pictures or prompts. Genuine pictures of their smile and pictures of them enjoying themselves. NO FUCKING INSTAGRAM HANDLE.. ew.

5. What your personality, hobbies, and values are. Actually taking the time to fill out your profile and not just use one word answers. Don’t make your profile all about physical photos and use terrible selfies. Put in some real effort and spend time polishing up your profile will thank you.

6. Effort! More than 4 photos that aren’t boo boo trash, a really genuine bio, and no hint of pessimism

7. 100% for a guy with a pic of him and his dog or cat.

   100% for wit that makes me curious to hear more

   100% for Armed Forces attire

   0% for a pick me gym guy, or a guy wearing a sport team jersey, or boring eyes/smile, or face tattoos!!!!! 🙅‍♀️ nope

8. No angry rants, no hating on opposite gender, no mention of past trauma and hurt, photos where the person looks well groomed and like an adult who can hold a conversation. When reading the profile puts a smile on my face. These are small but important indicators that the person might be wholesome and doesn’t carry a lot of baggage.

9. I’ve read all of the other comments and agree with all of them.

   I will also say, don’t play yourself. Guts seem to think it’s clever to give a girl a list of reasons to swipe left. Like literally writing “if you don’t like ___ swipe left.” On big things, yeah, feel free because it knocks out your actual deal breakers so you’re not wasting time. But it’s also not some adorable quirky thing that makes a woman swoon.

   For example: swipe left if you smoke (fine, preferences are legit), swipe left if you like/hate (pick one. Plenty of profiles have it now) Trump (perfectly fine), swipe left if you can’t accept my kids will always come first (absolutely fine).

   But I’ve seen guys straight up put the most nonsensical things in there thinking it’s somehow cute. It’s not. It’s negative and I’m not into a list of twenty things that makes me have to swipe left, even if all of them would lead me to swipe right.

   Examples: “swipe left if you don’t dance in the rain. Swipe left if you don’t laugh at dad jokes. Swipe left if you don’t like dogs. Swipe left if you don’t like to travel. Swipe left if you don’t like concerts. Swipe left if—“. Those are all right swipes for me, but it comes off as negative for no reason. “I dance in the rain, love dad jokes, adore my dog, travel as often as possible and enjoy concerts” uses far less characters and says more about you that will already have me swiping right before I even finish reading it.

10. i usually stop on someone’s profile when my app freezes thanks to my ancient iphone

11. It’s about being a minimum attractive and actually showing personality. I had a line about being obsessed with my then new espresso grinder on top of 2 other mentions of coffee in my profile. One was a prompt about what drink women could buy me: espresso martini. Women found the vibe fun and loved it. I said I was looking for my Sunday partner for brunch and tennis. Shows I’m active a minimum and a foodie. I mentioned only offering apple tv and chill since I prefer quality series. I also said that I probably read more than is reasonable and even though very few women actually read, they all seemed to really like that I do lol

    Women (and men too since I definitely looked for the same) want to know you actually are a full person and not just a bot like so many others. Basic people are not interesting. They’re fine for a ONS, nothing more.

12. I like how every comment is ignoring the elephant in the room, it’s looks. If you’re attractive enough, girls will be parking the bus on your profile.

13. attractiveness + a lack of red flags 🚩 + matching in what they’re looking for in a relationship / no random incompatibilities
    = guaranteed match

14. A beautiful smile is the #1 thing. Just not on all the photos, then it feels a little one-dimensional. And right after that, prompts that feel compatible, interesting or genuinely funny.

15. A decent first photo. Especially if they’re smiling and seem genuinely happy. I see waaaaayy to many group photos (can’t tell who they are and unfortunately it’s almost never the one you’re most attracted to), blurry/up the nose photos, such a far away pic in nature you can’t tell who’s in the photo, pet photos, photos clearly a decade old, or memes as the opening photo. And I’m personally not into the gym pics, shirtless pics, and then holding something dead.

    Genuine answers. Any attitude of “just ask” or “I hate this” are just boring. Same with low effort answers or bragging answers like “I have a house and a decent job.”

16. Actually taking the time to fill in your profile with relevant info. And not being negative.

    Being interesting and genuine. I absolutely hate seeing the same recycled “funny” lines or the most obvious “hobbies”(i.e., stfu about pineapple on pizza, and everyone likes music and movies, be specific). Why should I swipe on you if your profile is just exactly like every other guys? Make it unique to you.

    GOOD pictures. You don’t need to be super attractive…a nice, flattering picture does wonders. Smile, show off your sense of style or interests, give people a good view of your face.

    And I honestly judge people hard for their music taste, but I’m just a snob lol.

17. Pictures definitely matter…all selfies and no pictures of friends/family/hobbies usually have me swiping left. Some genuine thought and effort put into the profile…show some personality or originality or humor.

18. Everyone who doesnt say: “I am attracted to this person because of their looks” is probably lying