(Please read everything before replying)
I met this amazing girl at college in March. We got to know each other really well for the last couple months of the school year. We fell in love fast and hard. She met my friends and my family. We went on dates and did all sorts of things together. We even spent the last two nights before she left for her home country together. This Monday will mark 6 months of long distance for us. It's had a lot of ups and downs and we both never have done an LDR before. But overall it's really helped us build our love for each other and our relationship. We are planning a trip to see each other this Spring.
Recently we didn't have a good month the entire of October. We talked and agreed that November would be a new month for us and we'd make it better no matter what. So far it has, we've had less arguments, less negativity, less space and it's been very positive and loving. We've worked together to fix a lot of things and we're rebuilding our relationship well, until this week. I know some of you will tell me to move on and that she doesn't love me anymore but I'll cover that and why I'm confused on this situation.
So she called me Monday while on her lunch break at work. I was having a super stressful day and wasn't in a great mood. But I was excited she was calling and was happy to talk to her as she was busy during the weekend so we didn't call. Anyways we were talking for a bit and she made this bad joke about me that pissed me off but I didn't say anything that second. Then she decided to end our call so she could go eat with her coworkers instead which felt a little dismissive but I was fine with it as she said she'd call me after work. After the call ended half an hour went by. I decided to calmly bring up how I didn't like that joke. (We both agreed we'd call each other out on negative things so we can grow and improve and be better for each other) I told her I was having a stressful day and was going to get off my phone for a bit.
She responded a little bit later and freaked out on me. She was asking if I'm serious and saying how I'm always negative and how I'm always finding problems for us. She said she's going to take space too. She said she might be gone for a week or a month or just move on. She started thanking me for all of our good memories together and said she's sorry for anything she did to me then she said she's going to go focus on work and said bye. I replied calmly and in a deescalating way as her response shocked me. I told her how I'm just stressed today and how I didn't mean anything negative by my call out. I was just following our plan to help each other improve. I told her if she still wanted to call after work I was here and if she didn't no worries. I reassured my love for her and told her to have a good rest of her workday.
As I expected she didn't call me after work. I figured that would happen and didn't think much of it. However hours went by and I didn't hear anything from her and she never opened my last message. (We use Snapchat as our main communication tool as it's simple and easy for us) I checked back in to see if she saw my message. But saw I was still left on delivered and she turned her location off. I figured she was having a bad day and me saying that call out just made her spiral. So I decided to let her be as I always respect her space and she always comes back calm and loving soon after. (She is 3 hours ahead of me fyi)
It was around her bedtime and I still hadn't heard from her in like 8 hours. I didn't want to chase and since she was still silent I just let her be.
HOWEVER here is the confusing part. We use a couples app called Paired. We've been doing it every day since June. It helps us improve and grow as a couple and be open about things. Right before her usual bedtime she did Paired and sent me a couple things on instagram. But still chose not to talk to me Monday. I was fine with that as Paired reassured me she wasn't breaking up or anything. So I felt a little better about the silence and figured I'd talk to her Tuesday.
However Tuesday (yesterday) came around and she sent me a random snap in the morning. I sent one back and that was it. I didn't end up hearing from her at all yesterday. It was the first time in our whole relationship where we didn't talk for an entire day. Normally when she takes space and talks about a week of it or whatever she'll be back in under a day. So this was new to me and honestly worried me a lot. She did Paired again yesterday morning too. I'm just so confused. Because on Paired she's acting normal. She's positive and loving on there and talks about our future and our relationship. But then she won't actually talk to me by text or call on Snapchat?
This is the confusing part. Some of you will say "oh she's moved on" or "oh she doesn't love you anymore" but why is she still doing our couples app and talking about our future together then? I'm just confused on what's going on in her head and how she is feeling about us. Anyways, we didn't talk at all Tuesday and it's now Wednesday morning as I'm writing this. She still hasn't opened my messages from Monday or my snap from yesterday. I'm still respecting her space but decided once it hits the 48 hour mark of no contact (here in a couple hours) I'm going to send a soft loving check in to see how she's doing. I honestly thought by this morning she'd reach out. But all she did was ignore my stuff and send another snap of pretty much nothing. Her location is still off and she's still silent. She's at work rn and will be there for 4 more hours. I'll send her the short message in like 3 or something.
Anyways I'm just confused on this situation. Because part of it feels like she's slowing pushing me away and ending this relationship but then the other part of me sees her doing our couples app and talking about our future so I'm confused what she's doing. Tonight is supposed to be our weekly date night but I'm starting to think that's not going to happen. I just wish she'd talk to me and tell me what's going on. She's never just disappeared like this on me before. We've had way worse arguments and things happen and she'll be back talking to me in under a day. So I'm confused why such a small thing has led to 48 hours of silence so far?
Like part of me feels like she wants me to be the one to break up but then I don't even know if she wants that. As she's still doing our couples app and talking about a future together. I'm just so confused and don't know what to do. Her just doing the app isn't enough. I want her to actually talk to me and tell me what's going on. I doubt she'll reach out today and if she doesn't by tomorrow morning that'll be 72 hours without contact (I guess we'll see how today goes)
I really love this girl and want a relationship and future with her. I know deep down she wants it too as she's proven that to me over these past 6 months and even recently. Literally just before her silence started. During the weekend we were talking about planning the trip to see each other here soon and she was expressing how much she misses me and how she just wants distance to end and for us to live together already. So I know deep down she still loves me and wants us. I just don't understand what's going on with her this week. I'm worried about her and wish she'd open up to me.
If she ignores my message today too and doesn't reach out to me by the end of this week. I'm going to start worrying about the future of this relationship. As I don't know how much silence I can take from her. I really want us to work but that's not going to happen if she just doesn't talk to me again.
(Also she's not the type of girl to cheat on me. As it's happened to her before and she despises cheaters)
Any advice on this situation would be appreciated especially from any girls? I mainly just wanted to write out my thoughts as her and I aren't talking rn.
Thanks