When we first met, I was finishing up from a tiny career break and she was still studying at university. We met on a dating app and she had the location set to my city but it was because she lived with a family member when she wasn't studying. I had told her I didn't want to date someone who didn't live in the city permanently so we didn't officially start dating until she finished uni and moved back to the city. Fast forward to when she had graduated. She had a part time waitressing job that she hated, but it was her main source of income. She also had some freelance creative work but that dried up. She applied for a few jobs but didn't find anything, we argued a bit during this time because I felt she wasn't trying hard enough. She has ADHD so she struggles with this part. She had to move back to live with her parents. I tried to help her find a job because I knew her moving back was going to be difficult and cause issues.
Now here we are, I'm still living in the city and she's back in her town with her parents. I'm going to see her this weekend and honestly, I'm just not excited. I hate where she lives. It's tiny, long to get too, and its boring. I feel guilty for feeling this way but it feels like regression. I was at my music teacher new place last week (he's 2 years older than me) and it was so nice. He was telling me he bought it with his girlfriend and I just felt like shit. Someone closer to me in age has had this massive milestone, whereas even renting with my partner is probably at minimum a year away. My friend from university also just bought a place which also adds to the feeling. I try not to compare myself with my peers but its difficult. It feels like she didn't really start trying until it was already too far gone. She's currently got some remote creative jobs, but the pay isn't enough for her to move back to the city. Realistically, I don't think she'll be able to move back to the city. She talked about moving in together but as bad as this sounds, she isn't very financially stable. I did the math and even with her current job and rent price in the city, if we split rent percentage wise, I'd have to contribute a majority towards the rent which makes it unfeasible because its cheaper for me have a random roommate I don't know because at least its 50/50.
Has anyone been in this position before? Sometimes I feel like I'm giving up too easily, but then sometimes I feel like its the way I feel and my feelings are valid. I will admit, the cold weather and dark and early nights and travel have made this feel 10x worse recently so this may play a part into it.