My girlfriend and I have been together for six years, and earlier this year, I had our daughters, and they are now three months old. We have always wanted children, and when there were some changes to laws that would make it a lot easier for us, we decided to. Our children are hers biologically, but I carried them, and they're twins, and they are both healthy now and doing very well.
While she did take some leave, we decided that I would take the majority. She is a doctor, so she can't really afford to take much time. I know that some people might have been bothered by this, but I honestly didn't mind that much. Most of the time, I can manage on my own, and it's nice to spend that time with them. I enjoy it. It may not be easy all the time, but I feel like most of the time, I have gotten them into a good routine and it isn't too much to deal with.
But recently, like there sometimes is, there had been a difficult night. I sleep in one room with the babies, and she sleeps in the other. I breastfeed, so it's easier for me to wake up on my own, and feed them when needed, rather than disturbing her when she has to work and I would be the one doing what needs to be done anyway. If it's an evening when she isn't working, or needs to work the next day, she will often wake up with me and help with one of them and putting them to bed while I deal with the other.
And usually they're good sleepers, as they have gotten larger. But that night, they were not. If one of them wasn't up and crying, the other one was, and then it would wake the other up. They were fed, changed, etc, but they just weren't happy. So the next day, I was really tired, because they wouldn't nap either, because they were overtired, and acted like I was committing a criminal offence by trying to get them to lie down and close their eyes for half an hour.
My girlfriend had also had a difficult day, and when she came home, she said she was too tired to cook. I said that was fine, and that we could just order something. Normally we split making meals evenly, to be fair, but we were both tired and I really didn't see the point. She became annoyed, and said I been here all day, and there wasn't much that would drain my energy. I said that she doesn't have to eat anything then if she feels that way. It was a stupid argument, but I didn't think it would last.
But then we were having her family over, which was the day of rest for our religion, and I said that I could make the meal if she didn't feel like it, she usually does if it's her family coming to our home, but she had been having a bad day it seemed, and I also still felt a bit guilty about our argument so I thought it might help. She said, this was sarcastically if it isn't obvious, that she wouldn't want to take me away from a day of resting since I am obviously so tired. I said that she didn't need to be petty, but she said I didn't need to act like I was granting her some kind of favour.
I love our babies, I love her, and I don't want us to be arguing, and not over something so stupid that doesn't mean anything. I feel embarrassed to be honest that we're still arguing over something like this and acting like children, and I don't really know what to do. So any advice would be appreciated.