I (28M) play in a co-ed sports league and started hitting it off with a girl (22F, bisexual) on the team. We'd talk everyday through snapchat, she and her close friend made sure to invite me to any team nights out. Even though neither of us were really looking for something serious, we definitely had a BF/GF type energy at events. By about half the group, mainly the girls, we were for sure seen as a "thing" and she seemed proud of it. The nights out were really great and we made out on the couch of her friend's place on two different occasions. I didn't escalate to sex because she seemed a little hesitant when things were about to get a little more intimate and it was at her friend's place so I was taking it slow. I had invited her over to my apartment after a party and she initially said yes but backed out saying "its too late". No biggie, we went right back to talking the next day.
Then one night out, things suddenly shifted and got real weird. She starts talking that I'm too shy, won't take the initiative, and have to get out of my comfort zone. This caught me off guard because we've already spent a lot time together and this never came up before. So, I can only assume her friend group caught wind that I didn't escalate to sex and since she's the youngest, most inexperienced, and most impressionable within her group of girls instead of holding ground she agrees with them. From there, she started acting distant.
At our next game and she's clearly giving me the cold shoulder. Right when the game comes around there's a girl there to support her that she's giving her full attention to. The following days she's posting her and the girl all over her stories.
To me it was a clear rejection move to show not only me but to the group she's no longer with me but with her instead. So I stop talking to her or looking at her stories. I stay in my lane and keep doing my thing. She replied to one of the my stories asking why I've been avoiding her.
How should I handle this new group dynamic?
- Stay on the team and keep going to the nights out?
- Stay on the team but not go out socially with them?
- Detach myself completely?
Its tough because we were known as a thing and she very publicly rejected me and she probably gave reasons and it doesn't paint me in a good light. I could probably find another team to play on where things wouldn't be as awkward but might not. I enjoy some of the people on the team but I'm not really close with anyone or the group so I could detach.