TL;DR: My bf and I have been together for 3 years, no issues. I’ve grown bored of us due to repetitive dates and lack of initiation/ambition on my bf’s end. Thank you for reading
I 21F have been with my boyfriend 21M for the last three years. He has been everything that I dreamed he would be. He’s observant, spoils me, loves me, and I don’t have to worry about him cheating at all which makes me feel so guilty about feeling bored in our relationship.
We got together at the end of our senior year in high school, and we went to different colleges before he decided he didn’t want to go to school and just decided to work until I am done in december. So most, if not all of our relationship just has been spent time apart other than school breaks in the winter and summer. We also see each other every few weeks or so as well. At this point, you’re probably thinking “wow, this sounds like a great relationship nothing is wrong about it.” Whenever we do see each other we always do the same thing. Whenever he’s visiting me at college we always do the same routine of waking up, shopping, eating lunch, coming back to the dorms, and going out for dinner. Whenever I’m home from college it’s always we go to lunch together when he’s at work, and I wait until past 5 to hang out and when we hang out it’s at his house and we always just hang out in his room.
For the past 3 years we’ve been together we haven’t taken a solo trip alone. I’ve always brought up that we should go out of town for the weekend or if there’s a concert that’s close by I always suggest it but we never commit on going mainly because the conversation of “that’s a lot of money” comes up which I 100% understand, especially in this economy but I just cannot stand of ALWAYS turning down an experience just because of money. And every time I ask if we should do something or eat something I always get “oh sure, if you want” not a “oh yeah let’s do it”. It feels like I’m always initiating things and I want him to start.
Furthermore as much as he works hard (he works at walmart), I want him to have ambitions. I ask him if he has any remote interest of going to college but the answer I get is “I don’t know what to go into” or “I’d want to be a teacher but I don’t want to go to school for 4 years”. Idk I probably sound like a grateful girlfriend but is it a crime to want your partner to grow and thrive in their own way. As much as I love him being all about me, I want him to be all about HIM as well.
If it helps you reading this situation at all too, I’m going to school to be a registered nurse. I fear this boredom is starting to strip away some feelings I have for him, but I am so afraid of bringing it up because all of our friends have become so close. My bestest friends love him and I feel like it would be so hard to let this go. People are assuming that we’re gonna get married and even my boyfriend says that he wants to marry me too eventually. I do too at a point, but I am also so young.
I want to explore the world, move to a different state, and experience different cultures and I know I can still do that in a relationship but I want him to also want that too, not because of me, but because he genuinely wants those experiences as well.
Anyway if you’re reading this then I thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. These feelings have slowly been building up for the last few months and I’ve reached to the point where it’s slowly eating me up inside. I understand if you feel as if I’m being ungrateful or dramatic, I just felt like this was a good place to get some outside perspectives. Thank you again