I (24M) watched a favorite YouTuber of mine last night, he was covering the NFL player who recently took his own life, to make a long story short he spoke on the need for men to do more opening up and talking when things get tough in life. Tragic story of a guy who likely lost a battle to depression and grief from family losses.
I 100% agree that guys need to be more vocal as an aside but, I started thinking after the video concluded, mulling my own experiences with depression, anxiety, etc. I have no suicidal desires or anything in the like but idk life has had me down for quite some time but really in only one area, I don't feel desirable.
Don't misconstrue, I'm a handsome guy (been told as much by girl friends and I see my own attractiveness in the mirror at the moments I'm really paying attention), I could stand to lose a few pounds, start building towards a career, and get my license and yeah get out more, but aside from those faults there's nothing glaringly wrong with me. (Good credit, stable job, I'm a respectful, clean, decently groomed chill guy)
Idk, I've had women interested in me in the past but plenty of times it was girls confessing when there was really no "value" (they had moved out of town or time had passed), I've asked out a couple girls at my job, gotten numbers tried to make things happen for things to ultimately fizzle out fast. I recently took a coworker out for coffee after a couple days of texting and brief face to face convos, we were at the shop for maybe 3-4 hours talking about random things and wer still on good terms but the entire vibe was off imo.
Yeah she didn't seem uncomfortable during the date and we've been talking quite a bit at work but I feel i kind of fell into the "friend bucket", meaning there wasn't a strong relationship energy through this entire process and instead she was primed for me to end up being another friend. (not maliciously but that her mind just never disconnected from the friendly engagement)
Now weeks later I'm kind of bummed, I really wanted things to work but the entire things feels one sided, I want more than a friend and idk how she feels in that aspect.
TL;DR and long story short: I know I'm attractive and desirable but after 24 years of being single and a virgin and really "in a drought" (attraction wise) for like 6 years, I am really having a hard time feeling desirable, or finding women who seem to care to show they find me attractive in appropriate dynamics. Just venting some frustrations that I guess have been amplified by recent woes.