i’m going to attempt to say this without too much blah blah blah, i’ve been with him for almost 5 years in may. when i met him i was still living at home with my parents and i wasn’t in a stable environment at the time. i felt like i would never find love and that all men just wanted me for my body, then i met him. we clicked immediately, we would talk on the phone for hours, we were long distance as well. he asked me out within a few months of us being friends and i was so madly in love and happy. he understood me like no one else did and i was so happy to finally have met someone.
it was about 9 months of us dating when i ended up moving all the way across the country to live with him, i ran away from my parents because i felt i had no choice and thats where i wanted to go. when i got there his room was completely trashed. i spent the whole week cleaning his room for him, he was also finishing high school at this time, he failed senior year and had to repeat and he almost failed if it wasn’t for me finishing his online courses for him. then 6 months of us living together he put his hands on me. it’s a long story but that’s really the only point that matters.
i started to realize all these little red flags, he would lash out at me and personally attack me, he would say things like “i brought you out here and this is what you do to me” when we argued. he didn’t work for basically the whole time we lived there which really upset me as i started working within a month of moving in with him.
my family and i reconnected and i decided it was time to move back home. he came with and i saw this as a chance to finally get our lives started. i figured things would get better.
we end up moving back to my home state and he still continued to not work and sit on the game all day…. and everytime id bring up this fact he would get mad at me and tell me i brought him out here and he has no one and nothing. we would argue a lot, come to this year in march i told him we needed to take a break, i felt like i didn’t eve matter to him, he wouldn’t listen to me about getting a job he wouldn’t help around the house, and when we argue he calls me all kinds of names and insults. he always says sorry but every time it breaks me, not even a month ago i asked him to leave our apartment so i could have space and he just says no and starts to yell at me. he ended up going back home for a month or so and i’ve been trying to put my all into this relationship but i feel like it’s dead. our sex life has been non existent for almost two years now. i just don’t feel the want at all to be intimate with him. i’m struggling with ending the relationship because when we’re good it’s really good, but i can’t take another bad moment and i keep telling myself it won’t happen, but then it does again. he has a job now too and is working a lot but it’s like a little too late it feels
tl;dr: been with bf for 5 years, after countless arguments and name calling i don’t want to be intimate with him anymore and im questioning if i should stay