Hi all,

I have been diagnosed with anxiety since I was 21, though it was definitely around when I was a child. I had benzo prescriptions the whole time, became dependent, and then became addicted. I was addicted about 4 years ago. It made its problems financially 100%. Two weeks ago things got worse. She took my medications, both the benzo and the anti seizure (can’t remember the correct name) and I pushed her. Police were called, I spent a night in jail, the whole bit. I have had seizures among other things trying to escape them the last few years. I want to get better. For myself but also my wife and kids. I will start rehab on Tuesday. There’s a few things that concern me though:

  1. I’m wrong in every disagreement since that happened. There’s a lot of stress manifesting as disagreement and I understand that but we just argued over taking a game or appetizer over to her friends house. I’m not sure what to make of that. I don’t feel I shouldn’t voice my ideas but to what extent should I stand my ground?

  2. I want to steady the ship. I believe we both do. We’re not really hugging or kissing much but we both are vocal in how we love each other.

  3. I will be going into rehab on Tuesday. I’m not entirely sure what to expect. I’d like to take my phone so I can still call and text my family. How reasonable is that?

I feel terrible. I think I’m still a good person, but one who has made bad choices. I don’t really expect an answer on that since nobody here knows me (I hope). I’m in a bad spot emotionally, mentally, and to a good extent physically because of withdrawals. Anyone with similar experiences, please give me some heading, advice, or even perspective.

Thank you all, sorry for the long write up. I’ll try to answer any questions brought up.


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