i think i have a small crush on my boyfriend's friend, which is really upsetting. and what recently makes me feel even weirder/worse about it is that while i've never had a dream with romantic or sexual undertones with my bf (and i usually never get those kinds of dreams anyway), i started having these sorts of dreams about his friend a while ago. it has made this small crush seem more "real" to me, which has made me feel really shitty. i'm not even friends with or close to his friend or anything, i've just hung out with them several times when the friend has been in town.
but of course i'm also aware that crushes don't mean anything compared to a long-term relationship. i'm also pretty sure i know the reasons why i seemed to develop a crush on his friend, but i guess i haven't been able to simply end the crush regardless. maybe i didn't take it seriously enough before, and i thought a small crush will just go away quickly.
some context: my (24F) bf (30M) is first boyfriend and we've been together for 5 years. i always felt like i got very lucky on my first try since he's a good boyfriend, he was very committed from the start, and we even happened to share all these uncommon/weird interests both of us have. but we both also have our issues we've been trying to work through, like me feeling that i am "bad" at talking (if i ask a question out of pure curiosity for example he tends to get offended/angry thinking i meant something negative with it when i didn't). so i just feel like i easily offend people when i don't mean it. i don't even have friends and this might be one reason for it. and so that's one of the things that has caused friction, but i guess all relationships have these things, and i'm trying to work on it.
back to the point, today i have just wanted to be alone all day because i had another one of those dreams today. it was a long one, but in short, in the dream me and bf were spending the night somewhere, and there was some kind of fight. he went to sleep and i then went to a nearby bar (i would never do this irl, never been to a bar alone), where his friend then happened to be. i was really surprised, he talked to me, and then suggested going to another bar. on the way there he suddenly put his hand on my waist, almost wrapping it around my stomach as well. other ""flirty"" moments happened in the dream as well but that's the gist of it, it was quite a long one though.
i don't really think dreams "mean" anything, but when i was thinking about it after waking up, i did realize that the dream illustrated things i hoped i had in my current relationship. my bf sometimes gropes me, which i do kind of like, but he always gropes or grabs me where you would assume he does, never anything romantic like wrapping his hand around my waist, or touching my hair, or caressing me. i don't think he's ever done those things with me in 5 years, and i realized it.
when i was thinking about the setting of the dream, the bar, i realized how sad i've been that me and my bf never go anywhere. no date nights, no going outside, no going "out", nothing, just routines at home. i have tried talking about this before, like saying that one date per month would be nice to me, but my bf thinks he is too depressed for it (and he is depressed). i have tried to be understanding of that of course. he has tried as well despite his depression though, for example 3 months ago he suggested going to a fast food restaurant and it was really fun. but most of the time when we're "out" anywhere, he tends to kind of shut down or become annoyed, which he doesn't do if there is another person besides me.
tl;dr how do i get rid of the crush? and how to communicate with my bf to improve our relationship without making him feel guilty?