So a couple of days ago my husband received a WhatsApp message from a colleague saying her kid was still asleep past 5am but she was wide awake this was sent at 6.30am. I read it and instantly knew they had been communicating. He tried to say it was random. My thoughts was she was hoping he'd message back. Im not sure on the context of these messages was between them but one can only guess. He said it was nothing they just talked generally chit chat. I asked him to show me he refused (red flag). Hes now spent the last two days trying to deflect everything onto me. I asked him to block and delete her number he said no. He then messaged her turning it onto me saying I thought he was messaging people to much and that she doesn't have to explain herself blah blah blah. The messages was orchestrated to fit his narrative obviously. I was fuming he chose her feelings over mine and my boundaries. So then the gaslighting started, namecalling because he'd been caught out. Still dont know much but I guess will never get answers. So now his stuff is packed up. Ive told him to go. Gaslighting started again more names etc I dont care seen and heard enough now. 3 years married almost 10 years together im done. Hes panicking because he knows this and has tried to get back into my good books including asking for intimacy. Errr no I dont think so. He crossed a line not by messaging said woman but the act afterwards. He thinks I'm week and pathetic but the strength is yet to come.