I should mention, this is all long distance but I’ve been talking to this girl for a while now, and what started as something beautiful has turned into one of the hardest emotional lessons I’ve had to face.
At first, it felt effortless. We shared pictures, stayed up late talking, and opened up about things we usually keep guarded. She called me attractive, and when I said the same to her, she got shy and said, “I could say the same,” while hiding her face. It was sweet it felt real.
But out of nowhere, she texted me, "I can't do this anymore" just an hour before we were supposed to talk. When we finally did, she told me she felt unworthy of me, that she was scared she was hurting me. Then she asked, “Am I really worth it?” and that broke something in me. I told her yes, and shared some of my own past to comfort her.
Since then, she’s been distant. Not gone just quieter. And as someone who’s anxious attached, the silence feels louder than anything. You start replaying every moment, wondering what changed, what you did wrong, when really it’s not about you at all.
That’s the part that hurts the most when someone cares about you but their fear of closeness wins. You’re left holding all the warmth from before and all the confusion that follows.
I guess I’m sharing this because I’ve learned that sometimes connection isn’t enough when safety and timing aren’t there. It’s a strange kind of heartbreak losing closeness with someone who’s still right there, just emotionally behind a wall.
It's like a waiting game only I know I shouldn't be.