I (21M) met a girl (21F) exactly a week ago, she approached me (which was flattering) while we were both drunk at a bar. We stuck around each other for the rest of the night and ended up talking, dancing, and eventually making out. We’ve seen each other twice since and she is fun to be around, and there’s strong physical chemistry. Lots of making out, neck kisses, but nothing past making out and some intimate touching. I can tell it will go further very soon if I let it, and I don’t want to let things get to that point before I know for sure what I want out of things between us.
Here’s where I’m conflicted:
-Normally I connect emotionally first and then physically, but here’s its flipped and it’s a different dynamic. I get caught up in the moment when things get physical, and I find it hard to pull back. I’ve also never had sex before and part of me wants to experience it, even if this is my best chance I don’t want that to be at the expense of someone else and just to say I did it. The physical side is there, but the emotional side I normally look for when meeting people isn’t as strong as it normally is when I feel really into someone. That’s kinda the main reason I’m on the fence
-She’s gotten attached very quickly, as someone that normally moves on a much slower pace that’s something that scares me as it feels like she has made up her mind that she wants me while I’m still figuring things out. She also does have mental health issues and some tough past relationships and I’m thinking that has contributed to it
-I lead a very busy life, working full time, on a team for my school, consistently going to the gym, and taking electives, add in the fact I’m going to be out of town in a months time until the start of January, and even when I come back I’ll just be in school again to continue to my engineering degree and probably even busier
-I’ve been going back and forth since we met, thinking this is worth continuing and then second guessing myself about this all. I also have a tendency to overthink so I don’t want to psyche myself into ruining something with potential
Right now I kinda have 3 options. I could either end things and avoid any risk of leading her on and clearing my head about this all, I could suggest something more casual as I do have fun with her but I don’t know if I have the emotional bandwidth for a full on relationship and things could get messy, or I could just keep going and see where things go but I get the feeling she rightfully has seen this as heading to a relationship so reinforcing that by not saying anything might not be smart. Normally I have a pretty clear answer for where I want things to go when dating someone but right now I’m lost and would appreciate any help. Thanks 🙂