I (27/F) have been seeing someone (32/M) for the last three weeks. We had so much fun on our first date. I laughed more than I have in a while and I felt like I could be myself completely. He has bought flowers, stops by my work to bring me coffee, and has been on top of planning dates and being communicative. Yesterday he invited me to his apartment so he could cook us dinner. He warned me beforehand that he has a 9 month old dog who has struggled with potty training, and I warned him that I have an extremely sensitive nose.
As soon as I entered his apartment, the smell was overwhelming. He could tell that something was wrong and asked if I was okay. While his apartment was very tidy and I could tell he had put a lot of effort into cleaning up, the smell was just too much. He immediately offered different options for us to go out and do and told me he was embarrassed. I told him he would probably need to change the carpet and more for the smell to go away. We ended up going to my apartment instead and we had a great time there. He told me he was thinking about rehoming the dog because he just hasn’t been able to take care of her and I thought that may be a good choice, but I don’t think it’s really my place to say one way or another.
When he got home that night he texted me he had set up a consultation next week for a carpet replacement. He told me he was worried I had gotten the ick from all of this.
I have struggled with avoidant attachment ever since my divorce 2 years ago, and it’s something I’m trying to work on in therapy. Besides the apartment situation, this man has been amazing. He has slowed down his pace when I asked him to, has been very accepting of everything I’ve said, and is very enthusiastic about us. I can’t tell if I’m starting to feel odd about him because of the apartment situation or if it’s just my avoidant attachment kicking in. He has told me that he sees an amazing future with us and he will go at whatever pace I’d like to. I also have a vacation coming up next month and I’m traveling to a different state for a week, and he’s asked to me to come. All of this has kind of overwhelmed me and I’m not sure what to do? Do I let him come on the trip with me? Do I end things now?