Hi. I’m in a relationship but I feel really unsatisfied with our sex life. When we have sex, it usually only lasts a few minutes sometimes even just seconds. There’s not much foreplay either. He’ll go down on me or use his fingers for a short while, but then he wants to have penetration right away. The whole thing might last 5–15 minutes total.
He has never really tried to make me orgasm, and there’s no aftercare at all. As soon as he finishes, he goes to the bathroom, puts his clothes on, and sits on the couch scrolling on his phone.
It makes me feel used and unimportant. I don’t want to sound mean or make him feel bad, but I just want intimacy that feels mutual where I’m also cared for and it lasts longer. How can I bring this up in a way that helps him understand without starting a fight?