We've been together for one year, and living together during most of that time. We both kind of knew with each other straight away, and on the whole have found it easy to cohabit which we've both discussed is unusual for us; before we came into each others lives we loved our own space and needed time to recharge (whilst still being sociable). He always felt that the ideal for him would be being in a relationship with a girl that lives down the hall, and I shared similar feelings as I never saw myself living with a guy. It's felt very natural, and I do feel blessed to have him. We've completed some important milestones together and are very excited for the future. We often talk kids, marriage and our lives have meshed together nicely. His friends and family are amazing, they love me, and my family love him too.
He is very kind, generous, affectionate, hilarious, good looking, and ambitious; he works hard in finance and, whilst I'm looking for work at the moment, he doesn't necessarily expect me to pick up things at home. I do, however, but he'll also make an effort to get food/ cook/ etc. He also pays for absolutely everything and simply won't let me. Compared to other men his age I appreciate he doesn't have *that* much of a past – partly due to working & socialising so much. He had one relationship when he was in his early 20s, it was on & off and there could never have been a future due to cultural differences so he always knew it wouldn't last, it was never serious. Then he went on 5 or so dates with a girl when he was late 20s, but decided he didn't like her enough to pursue anything further. I'm the first girl he's taken home to meet his mother, and to have met most of his friends. He'd also never been on holiday with a girl before me, and I suppose we've shared many other firsts.
He's been to Ibiza a couple of times, and I came across some of his whatsapp messages from last year (1.5 months before we met); he gave me his old phone to have after doing a factory reset but some of his messages still came up in whatsapp … so they were drinking and doing drugs on this trip. He told one friend there: 'Me, Andy and few Aussie girls skinny dipping this morning. I hope he got at least one of their numbers I fell in love with one of them. Need to see her again… ' and another friend: 'Brought back 6 Aussie girls with us and went skinny dipping in the ocean at 6am. Also I fell in love last night, Need to find that Aussie girl, might be the one will let you know. Utterly beautiful, actually taller than me too. Smart as a whip and sarcastic as hell. Works as a doctor in Barcelona' … another friend!: 'I'm hopping Andy got one of the Aussie girls numbers at least, need to get in touch with one of them.' Later on; 'Man I still can't believe it. Fell in love, girl super keen. Talked her OUT of it. FFS… Will defo find her. Andy defo going to have one of their numbers. She might be the one bro' on the 19th. He'd remembered her name and also then told some of his mates in groups: 'Highlights include skinny dipping with 6 Aussie birds,'. That was it and then afterwards he was talking about how great a trip it was. I think Andy (the guy he was with) was in a long term relationship and the other guys he went with had wives, they weren't at the beach at that time but he was trying to get them to come down. It doesn't actually sound like they got physical but it's the whole falling in love thing just a month or so before we met that bugs me. I'm also annoyed about the skinny dipping bit; we recently went on a beach holiday together and it did cross my mind but I thought he wouldn't want to do that sort of thing with me, so I didn't mention it. I would love to one day with him, but now I feel like it won't be as special as he's already done it with some random girls… I'm very jealous about this. I realise it's possible that the girls only had their tops off, and that my bf may have kept his boxers on – I can't imagine he'd have gone fully nude. I wish he fell as hard and quickly for me, and another thing I hated was that I saw he'd been referring to me as 'the bird' to his friends the first couple of months of us dating.
The other annoying thing is that when he told one of the group he was seeing me one day (one of our earlier dates) the guy said: 'Lady? Is this the skinny dipping Aussie from Ibiza?' My bf put:' No brother. She was lovely but one of those you leave in a time and place. I do actually like this one' couple months later he started telling people I'm the one. He was also ready to introduce me to some of his mates the day after our first date (I stayed over) as he was due to see them anyway, so he thought I should go along. I said no at the time as I had other things on but I did meet some of his friends two weeks after that. He's told me he's never been so sure like this in the past, that during his past encounters he never really thought ahead and I am actually the first girl he's had penetrative sex with. He's always felt that we were meant for each other, especially as we've had sliding doors moments in the past. It's possible he just wanted a bit of fun with her, but then he's never seemed like that kind of guy and it seems like more from the messages.
He's utterly faithful and would never do anything to hurt me. I know he adores me and he shows me this every day – he touches me all the time (strokes, cuddles etc), looks out for me and would genuinely do anything for me. He's also amazing with kids and would make the best father. I'm trying to work out if this is really a big deal. It's funny because looks wise people have always told him he's punching, however I've always been insanely attracted to him. Even my family did not think he was my type, but I do feel I fell in love with his personality and his looks grew on me even more.
He really wants me to go to Ibiza with him and them all next year. I was up for it but obviously feel a bit weird about it all now. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable, but I would find this a lot easier to take if it'd been 5 years ago, not whilst he was in his mid 30s. I want to bring this up to him but don't know how. What do you think?
tl;dr bf apparently 'fell in love' with a girl he briefly met on a drunken & drug ridden night out in Ibiza (one month before we met), they didn't do anything physical but a group of them went skinny dipping (he may have had boxers on still & just topless women), I always wanted him to experience this with me first so am jealous, can't get over the fact that he did this just before we'd met as it sounds like something to be kept for early 20s, he remembered her name, occupation, height and appearance the day after & wished he'd gotten her number, month later when his friend thought his 'lady' (me) could've been her he said she was lovely but one of those you leave in a time and place, not sure if he wanted fun with her or something longer term & want to ask him.