My bf and I have been together for 6 years (we are both 29 years old). We met at uni, I was a student abroad. I ended up staying in his country for him and eventually found a job here, got my residence permit etc. Although I consciously stayed here, I’ve been feeling like I always have to be the one to compromise on something to make this work. We live in a small town where he has his job, his house, his friends and his family. My family is in another country, my job and friends are all in the capital city which is 2 hours commute one way. He is not willing to move closer to the capital since his company is here. He is ALWAYS at work, real entrepreneur type, so we don’t spend too much time together. So what’s happening now is that I’m far away from everything important to me, I feel isolated, alone. Not to mention that burden of learning new language is also on me, as well as most of the house work since he is working all the time. I can’t meet my friends for coffee spontaneously, everything has to be planned due to commute. It’s costing me energy, money, time and I’m starting to feel miserable. I don’t feel settled, but it’s sad to end the relationship with a good man for all this. He is smart, ambitious, kind. But I just feel like we aspire for different style of life. I’m scared to end it because I’m almost 30, reproductively challenged, but I don’t see how I can improve the situation. Living separately makes no sense – we will never see each other then, and financially it would be stupid. So I’m a bit lost. How do you deal with a situation where your lifestyles are simply not compatible?
TL;DR: I sacrificed my proximity and time with friends, family and work to make the relationship work. My bf is often away for work. I’m isolated and unhappy.