I 30M recently had some time off of work. After a date that was terrible earlier this past month and another date that fell through the day before the girl and I were supposed to meet, I have decided to finally give dating apps a break. I paused my account. I didn’t delete it because the algorithm doesn’t like people who delete their accounts and who knows if/when I return.
I haven’t had an organic connection with anyone since September 2023, which was the last time I had sex with someone who I was genuinely interested in. I went on a slew of bad dates and after a while, I started to cut off potential connections early. I was jaded and should have just taken a break then. But I didn’t and ended up prematurely ending things with maybe a half dozen talking stages. Some were because they took hours to respond to my text messages or days. Some others were because I realized I wasn’t that attracted to them physically… Maybe they gave me their social media and I realized they were hiding more of who they actually were in their dating profiles and I got turned off. This and a combination if bad dates, made dating almost impossible for me.
I became jaded and over time could not even find the strength to swipe right or like women’s profiles on dating apps. I could not find the strength to spend another $10.99 on a Hinge boost or $22.99 of a week of Hinge+. I spent over $1,000 on a combination of Hinge boosts and premium accounts the last couple years. Sometimes they would work and give me access to my “type,” but most of the time it would just show me another account I would never talk to.
With all of this, sometimes my profile would run dry for a week or so and I’d start to question my self worth and if I was attractive enough. But then when a good-looking girl would show initial interest, I’d not know how to converse with them. My witty one-liners were gone. I could not sometimes muster the strength to even say “hi, how are you.”
I am in therapy and I have told my therapist all of this. He did not give me the official advice to stop dating apps but I made the decision on my own. As we head into the holidays, dating doesn’t make much sense for me. Last year, I went on two dates with a woman over the course of a 20 day thing with them. It pretty much ruined my December even though it’s supposed to be a happy time for many. I am alone and probably will be alone for a long time. Depression is creeping up on me sometimes, but I know just to keep living my life.