This is a weird one.
My wife’s best friend since college is pregnant. She and her husband were over at our house with some other couples, and my wife asked if they have a name picked out (they know it’s a boy).
There is an awkward pause, and her husband looks kind of pissed off. Then she says “well, he doesn’t want me to say it, but I want to name the baby [my exact first and middle name]. I just think it sounds so nice.” The topic was quickly changed because of how awkward it was.
I do NOT have a common name, and neither my first or middle names are in her or her husband’s family.
Then, when we were together a few weeks later, my wife’s same friend said she got a new DSLR and asked me if I would give her some lessons (I take portraits as a side hustle). She is a nurse and has a lot of weekdays off and said I could come over to her house some weekday if I’m not busy (with the obvious implication being that her husband is at work) and “show her how to use it.”
I brought both these things up with my wife and she is ADAMANT that it’s all harmless, that I should totally teach her, and finds it hilarious that I think there is even a chance her friend likes me.
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Is there any other way to interpret the baby name comment?
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Am I crazy? I’ve known her as long as my wife has. We’ve always been friendly, but no more so than I am with any of her other friends. It seems insane that she would try something, but I swear to god I can see it in her eyes…
TL;DR Wife’s best friend wants to name her baby after me and wants private photography lessons while her husband is at work…
38 comments
She’s after you. Your wife is insane to think otherwise. Just tell her you’re uncomfortable and don’t do it
Dude she’s 100% into you. The husband’s face when she said the name tells you everything he knows what’s up. No woman names their kid after some random dude in their friend group unless there’s feelings involved.
Bless your wife for being so trusting of you (and her), but nope the fuck out of there.
Never be alone with this woman. Ever.
Continue to be friendly when you see one another at social events.
Your wife is either dumb or she secretly wants a threesome. BF is very disrespectful and clearly doesn’t care one whit about her own husband.
I would have told the husband about his wife’s lessons request, that I’m uncomfortable with such requests and could he please rein his wife in. She is honestly NOT your problem.
It could be harmless, some names just have a good ring to them. But the fact that you feel like she “has that look in her eyes” is going to say way more than we can about the situation. On the plus side, your wife is a very trusting woman.
Follow your gut.
Don’t ever be alone with her.
I had a coworker who spent months picking her baby’s name (first and middle) only for another coworker to take both a year later for her daughter. It definitely caused drama for a week until they discussed it and thought crazy, it ended well and no one cared. Coworker 2 just really liked the name combo and to be honest they aren’t friends and don’t run in similar circles. So they both got over it. Some people like a name combo and don’t care about it being unique. Trust your wife, her friend could just be trying to befriend you too. Just keep some pepper spray in your pocket. 😉😂
OP I would think your wife might hope to use your name for your child. What was her feelings about her friend wanting use your name? I agree with you this woman is after you. No way no how would I be alone with her. If I were you just get too busy to meet up and invite her & the hubby for a bbq then give her some pointers using her & hubby as the portrait subjects. 😎
It looks weird and suspicious but your wife should know better than random redditors
Just pregnancy hormones doing their thing. She probably doesn’t get along with her husband all that well, seeing how he’s pissed off about his son’s name, and she doesn’t care.
How un-common is your name? Is it a cool name that just sounds cool? I’ve met people like that. I heard of one guy named Cole Cash, and I wished that was my name.
You can just really like a name, but if I were you, as a married man, I wouldn’t be alone with a married woman without a third party around to avoid any rumors or suspicions. Maybe not by your wife, but this woman’s husband. If he has your same suspicions as you that she has a thing for you, it’s just gonna cause problems. It might be totally innocent, but trust your gut anyway. Worse that can happen if you listen to your gut is that you are wrong. Worse that can happen if you don’t, is that you are right and it causes issues in your marriage.
Nope not crazy and she is very weird. Hopefully her child will not get named after you because it’s odd and disrespectful to her husband to name their son after another married man in the friend group who is no relation to the baby. Obviously I don’t think it’s a good idea to meet this woman privately at all but if you did maybe do it in public like a park (so you can teach her how to work with natural light) and record the whole thing (audio and video if you can) as well as maybe have a friend film from a distance incase she becomes even more inappropriate so you can show your wife.
she is trying to be subliminal but doesn’t realize how strange she looks. that’s a pretty grand gesture and an honor to have a child named after you and with everything you just said.. it sounds like she might be in a delusional state about you. who knows how it started and why and F trying to find out.. whatever it is, it’s entirely in her head. sometimes a smile or a laugh or a kind gesture can be severely misread as a signal or flirtation.. and also the fact that you are someone who is basically like a brother in law, that could possibly be a thrill or a high that she experiences because of the risks involved..
there’s like a 10% chance it’s innocent and not deep at all, if your name is very unique and cool then it very well could be just that..
You need to tell her explicitly that you are uncomfortable with her naming her son to match you. Don’t be alone with her.
This situation definitely sounds off. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable.
Creative answer: agree to the lesson, but wear one of those pairs of glasses that have a camera. Record the whole time.
Your wife must be a really kind and loving person, because her friend is a total vampire in disguise. This lady wants to give her baby *your exact name*?? Of course her husband is resentful, it’s utterly bizarre and seems spiteful towards him and to me insinuated they have some seriously weird issues going on. I would distance myself immediately and for the love of reality, do NOT go to give that lady lessons on anything, ever. You have no idea what their marriage is like, but again.. yikes.
Oddly enough, if the friend seemed enthusiastic about the name, it would leave me feeling better about this.
But he’s clearly uncomfortable.
Send her a link to a decent YouTube video or channel that instructs on thenuse of the camera, and never be available for this woman when you’re alone.
And maybe talk to your buddy alone. Tell him how unsettling and strange you felt his wife’s behaviour was and ask him how he’s doing. She’s probably gaslit him into thinking hos discomfort is because he’s “controlling”, when really, she’s fucking unhinged and needs to sort herself out.
I’m not certain this friend is into you, but she’s absolutely crossing all kinds of boundaries. Normal people don’t steal the first-and-second names of close friends just because “it sounds nice”. It’s not the done thing.
Even if she has no intention of trying to seduce you over the camera, it’s a good idea to maintain a polite distance from her. She has a poor understanding of boundaries and appropriate behaviour, it’s not a risk you want to take.
She’s gunna try to hit on you when you’re alone and then when you say you aren’t interested, she’s going to flip it and say you hit on her/made her uncomfortable/other accusation to take the heat off her. Don’t ever be alone with this woman
The first mistake was being silent when she revealed the name choice. You should have spoken up for yourself and said it made you uncomfortable and was unacceptable. Being alone with her would be a 2nd mistake. Don’t do it and also make your feelings about the name known asap.
Id say if wife wants to dismiss you and your feelings, while ignoring reality thats right in front of her, tell her you will take the friend up on her offer to teach her and say you will record it, if the friend does anything innapropriate or says anything innapropriate, then you will cut ties with the friend.
Do not spend time alone with her!
Totally get that. It’s one thing to be trusting, but ignoring red flags is a whole different level of risky.
EVEN IF the friend has no feeling for OP, there is no way the husband will believe nothing happens when you go to their house while he’s at work.
If she really wants to learn about photography, she can come to OP’s place while his wife is there and get lessons. That way, she has a model to practice her photography on as well.
Definitely do not put yourself in a situation where you’re alone with this woman!
You in danger dude!! 😯 Don’t ever be alone with her, don’t go over there, don’t message outside of the group chat
The name thing is very weird. And I’m honestly confused as to why your wife doesn’t think so too.
Don’t be around this woman alone. Either say no to her request or offer an alternative time that means her husband, and potentially also your wife, are also present.
This is a situation for marital vows. It doesn’t matter if she believes her friend is into you, YOU TOLD HER YOU WERE UNCOMFORTABLE. Her friend’s “motivation” doesn’t matter, you are uncomfortable with her actions. You could be completely wrong about her motivations (extremely unlikely), but it doesn’t matter.
Spouse 1 tells Spouse 2’s friend makes them uncomfortable. Spouse 2 needs to respect that, and look into it because that’s the fair thing to do, but at the end of the day, respect that Spouse 1 is uncomfortable and promote distance between the two of you.
Tell your wife you don’t want to be around friend. She can spend time with her, but you don’t want to be around her. Odds are high friend is going to get upset and ramp up her attempts to see you, but if she doesn’t, a few months or so of space between her friend and her husband should not matter.
Don’t put yourself in any situation where you’re alone with this woman
One thing almost everyone is forgetting is that she is pregnant, her hormones are in chaos. Everything will get back to normal after she gives birth
She’s obsessed with you. I knew a girl who names her baby after her x bfs dad. Who she was obsessed with.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here with my own experience,
Firstly I will say It is very weird and awkward
I had my own similar situation, but the relationships where my husbands best friend and my first born son, he name isn’t unique and I just thought the first name would be nice, we would of called him a nickname instead (short version of the name) but my pregnant fuelled intentions wanted to bridge a gap and encourage a positive relationship with my son and the best friend (at the time to be god father) it was completely innocent and offered in good faith,
Ultimately we didn’t go with his name though as it made him a little uncomfortable 😅, mostly because his girlfriend (and my now best friend) was completely against this, it was just a thought with innocent intentions but I’m glad we didn’t choose his name,
I guess a little part of me wanted my husband and son to best buddies too
Pregnancy does wild things to the brain for sure, trust your wife’s knowledge of her friend because you are faithful and already brought up your concerns, don’t go around if your not comfortable or take your wife with you,
Be flattered you have a lovely name and try not to worry (you and your wife are a good team and that’s all that matters) because without dads consent I can’t imagine she will go through with that name of their child
If you’re looking for permission from a stranger then you have it. Go ahead a give her those lessons. 😉
Sister is going to say “hey, while you are here, I want to take some pregnancy boudoir photos for my husband, can you help me with that? I don’t have any cash with the baby coming, but I can repay you in OTHER ways”
Op, if you go because your wife insists it’s innocent, AUDIO RECORD THE WHOLE VISIT. That’s all I’m saying.
OP. You have control of this situation. Tell the woman No. You will not be coming over to her house to give private lessons. Then proceed to go no contact with her and her husband. Put your foot down with your wife. The woman is living in dream land.
Of course she’s a nurse too lmao
I wouldn’t do it. If you need to, just use the husband as an excuse. That he doesn’t appear comfortable with it, and that you don’t want to do anything to rock the boat.