I have no idea where to start. My wife and I, at the time we met were 17 and 18 and were in high school together. Spending every sore moment together in and out of school just as friends at first, we grew quite fond of each others presence. One day I asked her if she would like to start a relationship, she said yes and so would begin the best relationship I’ve ever had.
2 years down the road we get married and we now have a little one. I absolutely love the girl I fell in love with and the woman she is now, but she’s been hiding something from me. She’s been lying to me for years.
I would like to say that my wife is very good about telling me things in person and allowing body language help us figure out what the other is feeling. I guess she’s had her mind on this for some time because just today while she was at work, she texts me that “we need a compromise about sex”. Well that set off the heart alarm very quickly. She doesn’t bring things up like this, like this. Never over text.
Anyway we get through the conversation over text and I feel very hurt. I mean she’s been my girl forever it feels like, and she told me she’s been lying to me for the better half of it. Faking almost all orgasms for the past 4 years. She’s on her way home now and I’d just like some advice on how to open up a deeper conversation about this. I want to tell her exactly how this makes me feel but I also don’t want to punish her for being honest by yelling and making her feel bad.
I know I just need to calm down but I don’t know how to handle being lied to like this. The most intimate part of my life with my most favorite person has mostly been a lie. How do I go about letting her know how she made me feel while also getting to the bottom of a healthy sexual relationship that we both are satisfied with, WITHOUT “punishing” her for being honest?