Married at 32 and I love my wife, I swear I do, but I'm just second guessing everything in my life.
Is this normal? Or just the anxiety of turning old?
29 comments
Why do you feel you’re second guessing? What are you second guessing? Your life or marriage?
Hasn’t happened yet and I’m 38.
Please for the love of god don’t father any children until you’ve got things straight.
It’s normal.. call it “the path not taken”.
You will habitually forget how effing hard you had to work to get here.
Relax…enjoy… The future is not a guarantee.
Depends on what you are second guessing. If you aren’t happy, you are certainly young enough to still make huge changes.
Second guessing your decisions is normal but thinking about it more than just a passing thought is not normal at any age. Unless you doing some sort of focused introspection but it sounds like a daily dread the way you worded this post.
I’ve been there man, I thought I loved my ex, but it went to shit real quick
Idk man probably right around when I became self aware.
I’m skeptical of this in part. EVERYTHING? What are you really questioning? Be specific – it reveals a lot about your truth when you can name exactly the needs you feel aren’t being met.
I remind myself when thinking, was she the right one?
That the one that got away, got away for a reason.
What’s abnormal is not questioning that you messed up, muh boy.
Also, knowing your gals or being somewhat aware, at least, as to the cycle in the month, is key to success.
Extremely normal. You didn’t fuck up. The status quo is peeling. Not just for you, but for a lot of millennials going through their thirties.
It’s not a fuck up, it’s opportunity for enlightenment. Embrace the chaos and challenge yourself to step outside the false comfort of conformity. All the stuff they tell you should give you purpose is built that way for a reason.
Second guessing EVERYTHING? You should second guess some things, not everything.
Get a counsellor.
I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, but those just taught me lessons and maybe caused me to take a different path through life. It’s like when Bob Ross says happy accidents when he painted, a mistake can be turned into something good.
When I got stomach stretch marks.
It’s normal to have doubts. You’re not going to perfectly adhere to whatever idea of a life you imagined and that’s okay. The time to evaluate things is if it’s actively hurting your wellbeing. A lot of things can be worked through and you get clarity on a lot through that.
I’m 72. Trust me when I tell you this. When you get my age you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.
You think 34 is old?! Hahahahaha
You need to go buy some expensive shit you don’t need an realize that this is cyclical. I recommend hardware synthesizers and/or drum machines or arcade machines from the early 90s are also a good option for a midlife crisis. I like to call it midlife awesome. Embrace it.
When l left my job and new job started giving me one shift every six weeks, so in ,6 months year, l earned what l was getting in a week
Do not focus on the things you do not have (yet in many cases). Focus your thoughts on the things you DO have and never take them for granted.
You can invest a lot of time rueing The Path Not Taken, or you can put the shoulder to the wheel and put the work in on your path now.
if you ever really fuck up you’ll know it
>Is this normal? Or just the anxiety of turning old?
It didn’t really hit me until I was 59. No other age milestone bothered me at all, but the thought of turning 60 in several months sent me for a loop.
I was replaying my life. Realizing mistakes I made and things I could have done differently. Questioning things like whether it was the right move taking my wife back when we were first dating after she broke up with me abruptly for 2 months. Should I have started dating again instead, etc…
It put me in a bit of a depression but I dug out of it by hitting the gym and focusing on what was real for me now. I can’t know how things would have turned out if I had chosen differently. It could have been much worse, I suppose.
Ultimately, I love my wife, I love my kids. I don’t have a bad life. Live better than some, not as well as others, but very lucky in general.
Comparison is the thief of joy. So you have to be careful. You are young enough that you could change some things that I don’t feel like I can at this point. But even if I were your age, would I? Not sure.
If you hadn’t married her, you’d be second guessing that decision right now. The grass is green where you water it
When I am satisfied, I don’t ask big questions. So my question would be, what makes me satisfied? And if something is missing, what is within my power and can therefore be changed by me?
You cannot change what is not within your power. But you can decide how to deal with such situations.
A lot of people don’t have the emotional intelligence to be able to reassure someone in your state
Source: I am in the same position
I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to be the best person I can be. I’m not perfect, but I try my best for the people around me. It’s tiring
I wonder if you’re in the same position, but I’m noticing that it’s hard to feel like it’s okay to be angry. To really be upset with someone. Or disappointed.
Understanding seems to be the “right” thing to do, but in reality not many people are understanding. Many people are quick to judge, but expect understanding in return.
Many people do not see the hypocrisy in their daily lives, in their behavior.
I am optimistic that things will get better, but only time will tell
I’m 37 and I think about a lot of things that I did differently than expected or where I changed paths. Arguably my biggest choice (career change) lead me to my wife and having two amazing sons. You can always think back to what was or could have been but being happy and enjoying the now will get you so much further than speculation on hypotheticals. It’s okay to think about it sometimes but dwelling on it will hold you back.
you dont know rock bottom, until you are there.
if you have to question it, and are unsure. you are fine.
Pursuing financial freedom and I end up alone . I should pursue relationships instead and build everything together
29 comments
Why do you feel you’re second guessing? What are you second guessing? Your life or marriage?
Hasn’t happened yet and I’m 38.
Please for the love of god don’t father any children until you’ve got things straight.
It’s normal.. call it “the path not taken”.
You will habitually forget how effing hard you had to work to get here.
Relax…enjoy… The future is not a guarantee.
Depends on what you are second guessing. If you aren’t happy, you are certainly young enough to still make huge changes.
Second guessing your decisions is normal but thinking about it more than just a passing thought is not normal at any age. Unless you doing some sort of focused introspection but it sounds like a daily dread the way you worded this post.
I’ve been there man, I thought I loved my ex, but it went to shit real quick
Idk man probably right around when I became self aware.
I’m skeptical of this in part. EVERYTHING? What are you really questioning? Be specific – it reveals a lot about your truth when you can name exactly the needs you feel aren’t being met.
I remind myself when thinking, was she the right one?
That the one that got away, got away for a reason.
What’s abnormal is not questioning that you messed up, muh boy.
Also, knowing your gals or being somewhat aware, at least, as to the cycle in the month, is key to success.
Extremely normal. You didn’t fuck up. The status quo is peeling. Not just for you, but for a lot of millennials going through their thirties.
It’s not a fuck up, it’s opportunity for enlightenment. Embrace the chaos and challenge yourself to step outside the false comfort of conformity. All the stuff they tell you should give you purpose is built that way for a reason.
Second guessing EVERYTHING? You should second guess some things, not everything.
Get a counsellor.
I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, but those just taught me lessons and maybe caused me to take a different path through life. It’s like when Bob Ross says happy accidents when he painted, a mistake can be turned into something good.
When I got stomach stretch marks.
It’s normal to have doubts. You’re not going to perfectly adhere to whatever idea of a life you imagined and that’s okay. The time to evaluate things is if it’s actively hurting your wellbeing. A lot of things can be worked through and you get clarity on a lot through that.
I’m 72. Trust me when I tell you this. When you get my age you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.
You think 34 is old?! Hahahahaha
You need to go buy some expensive shit you don’t need an realize that this is cyclical. I recommend hardware synthesizers and/or drum machines or arcade machines from the early 90s are also a good option for a midlife crisis. I like to call it midlife awesome. Embrace it.
When l left my job and new job started giving me one shift every six weeks, so in ,6 months year, l earned what l was getting in a week
Do not focus on the things you do not have (yet in many cases). Focus your thoughts on the things you DO have and never take them for granted.
You can invest a lot of time rueing The Path Not Taken, or you can put the shoulder to the wheel and put the work in on your path now.
if you ever really fuck up you’ll know it
>Is this normal? Or just the anxiety of turning old?
It didn’t really hit me until I was 59. No other age milestone bothered me at all, but the thought of turning 60 in several months sent me for a loop.
I was replaying my life. Realizing mistakes I made and things I could have done differently. Questioning things like whether it was the right move taking my wife back when we were first dating after she broke up with me abruptly for 2 months. Should I have started dating again instead, etc…
It put me in a bit of a depression but I dug out of it by hitting the gym and focusing on what was real for me now. I can’t know how things would have turned out if I had chosen differently. It could have been much worse, I suppose.
Ultimately, I love my wife, I love my kids. I don’t have a bad life. Live better than some, not as well as others, but very lucky in general.
Comparison is the thief of joy. So you have to be careful. You are young enough that you could change some things that I don’t feel like I can at this point. But even if I were your age, would I? Not sure.
If you hadn’t married her, you’d be second guessing that decision right now. The grass is green where you water it
When I am satisfied, I don’t ask big questions. So my question would be, what makes me satisfied? And if something is missing, what is within my power and can therefore be changed by me?
You cannot change what is not within your power. But you can decide how to deal with such situations.
A lot of people don’t have the emotional intelligence to be able to reassure someone in your state
Source: I am in the same position
I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to be the best person I can be. I’m not perfect, but I try my best for the people around me. It’s tiring
I wonder if you’re in the same position, but I’m noticing that it’s hard to feel like it’s okay to be angry. To really be upset with someone. Or disappointed.
Understanding seems to be the “right” thing to do, but in reality not many people are understanding. Many people are quick to judge, but expect understanding in return.
Many people do not see the hypocrisy in their daily lives, in their behavior.
I am optimistic that things will get better, but only time will tell
I’m 37 and I think about a lot of things that I did differently than expected or where I changed paths. Arguably my biggest choice (career change) lead me to my wife and having two amazing sons. You can always think back to what was or could have been but being happy and enjoying the now will get you so much further than speculation on hypotheticals. It’s okay to think about it sometimes but dwelling on it will hold you back.
you dont know rock bottom, until you are there.
if you have to question it, and are unsure. you are fine.
Pursuing financial freedom and I end up alone . I should pursue relationships instead and build everything together