I'm having a hard time because my (30F) now husband (33M) is an amazing partner and human being. We've been together 5 years and got married last week. But an ongoing issue I have is how much around his family he is. He speaks to them EVERY day, literally. He goes to see them 1-2 times a week, they live about half an hour away. One of those days of the week, it's basically all day long, at least 12 hours.
We've had discussions about it because it makes me feel like he doesn't understand when you're creating a new family you have to loosen up with the other a bit. But then I feel like an A-hole for even bringing it up because I don't want him to feel like I don't want him to see them or have a relationship with them. One of my favorite things about him is how close knit his family is. I love that trait in a partner. But sometimes I feel like it's TOO much. This also makes me hesitant on having kids (not the only reason for the hesitation but just another) because I wonder what's it going to look like once we have them?
We recently went on a small vacation with his family and got back this Monday. Today, he went to see them again. Every day since Monday, he's spoken on the phone with them. When I brought up this issue for what feels like the 100th time, he doesn't get why it bothers me. He also told me he had to go because if he didn't his dad (65M) would do yardwork by himself and probably hurt himself doing it because that's just his personality.
He tells me we hang out all the time because we both work from home but to me it doesn't feel like it since we're both working and/or doing things. We don't get to just chill until later at night. Not even on most weekends because we're always going here or going there, or seeing family, or seeing friends.
But then I also feel like I'm overreacting or being dramatic (he's never said these things to me, it's how I feel when I sit with my thoughts), and I wonder if there's an underlying problem and that's not the real issue? Idk. I guess I want advice on how to approach this, how to deal with this?
TL;DR husband talks to his family every day and sees them 1-2 times a week. This bothers me and we've discussed but we don't understand each other's points on the issue. I feel like we don't spend much time together, he thinks we do. I feel like an A-hole when I bring it up because I don't want him to lose his relationship with his family but I also feel like he needs to loosen his relationship a bit with them.