My partner (31M) and I (27F) have been together for 10 years. We live together and share two dogs. About 2–3 years ago, I made a huge mistake and was unfaithful. When he found out, he ended the relationship and I moved back in with my parents.
We stayed in touch and decided to try again after a few weeks. We both deleted social media and started couples counseling. The first months were difficult — he was understandably angry and hurt, and I accepted full responsibility. Over time, things seemed to improve, though there were still painful reminders of the past.
Recently, he lost one of his best friends, which has been really hard on him emotionally. I’ve been trying to be supportive, but it feels like we’ve fallen back into the same cycle — calm periods followed by emotional outbursts about what happened years ago. I’m trying to understand whether this relationship can still be healed or if we’ve both reached a breaking point.
I love him deeply, but I’m drained and unsure if this is still healthy for either of us.
TL;DR: We’ve been together for a decade and still can’t fully move past infidelity from years ago. How do I know if it’s time to let go and heal separately?