Ages, genders, relationship length:
Me: F31 | Him: M32 | Together for 11 years
I’ve been with my boyfriend since we were 20. He’s caring, faithful, responsible, loves our two cats, and has never done anything bad to me. Objectively, he would be a good partner and father someday. We’ve had a stable, safe relationship for years.
For the past few years I’ve had less and less sexual desire for him. I feel like having sex is a routine and i do it without being present. I do feel desire for other people though.
In the winter I met someone and I had a big crush on him. I was honest with my boyfriend about him even though nothing physically happened with the other guy. I stopped communicating with him so I can focus on fixing what I’ve broken but ever since I spoke about that things aren’t going well. My boyfriend still loves me and wants me. I love him and care about him but the physical attraction is just gone.
For few years we’ve been talking about moving to Spain together and now I spent a month there. He came with me for 1 week and then I was on my own for 3 more. I felt alive and refreshed to be on my own. I want to move here but he wants me to give him at least one more year so he can be more financially stable. He doesn’t speak Spanish and will be harder for him to find a job and fit in. For me it will be easier since I speak the language and even now I found people I like hanging out with.
Part of me wants to break up with him and experience new things with new people. Another part of me feels like I’m betraying him and hurting him so much that I just can’t take it.
Tldr: Should I end my long term relationship because physical attraction is gone and we have different current goals