What is the absolute worst response to a cop asking you.. do you know why I pulled you over?
October 30, 2025
What is the absolute worst response to a cop asking you.. do you know why I pulled you over?
27 comments
“Because I let you”
Because you’re a [insert slur of choice]
Because of the bag of coke in my pocket? Or is it because of the body in the trunk?
“To fill your quota”
I’ve always seen them explode you even hint that it exists
“Because I couldn’t outrun the Amber Alert?”
You found the bodies
To blow me?
“Depends on how long you were following me”
You don’t say anything and instead projectile vomit all over the cop.
“You can smell the brick of cocaine?”
Real answer: “Yes” or anything similar, such as “Because I was speeding”. It’s basically an admission of guilt and you just made things harder for yourself.
Cause I’m young, and I’m black and my hat’s real low?
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don’t know
Am I under arrest, or should I guess some more?
Your wife couldn’t get a hold of me.
“No, sir, but here is my Uno Reverse card, so now I will ask you to step out of the vehicle….slowly with both hands up.”
Me: “Because I looked like I needed help with something.”
Cop: “Oh yeah, what is it then? What did you need help with?”
Me: “Minding my own fucking business.”
“Cause you can smell it!” while holding a box of donuts
(shout out Fluffy)
Glad California passed a law outlawing that fishing question
“Why are you asking me when you’re the one who pulled me over?”
“Because you see an older Chrysler 300 driving at 55-mph in a 65-mph zone at 2:30 am, and instead of doing your fucking job and observing a crime and THEN pulling me over, you are going to lie and tell me “your license plate light is out” hoping I have been stupid enough to drive under the influence”
Pissed him off so bad, sob made me do a full field sobriety test and ran license and registration and checked insurance, he was hoping to get me on something.
The reason I was driving slowly was it was a nice cool evening, and I was not in a hurry, I had my windows down listening to Fleetwood Mac enjoying a peaceful evening cruise until that prick pulled me over.
Cuz only gay cops pull me over.
I don’t know about a PO, but I can tell you that when a judge asks you in court if you have learned any lessons following numerous tickets, the WRONG answer is “I’ve learned I need to move my radar detector higher on my window ”
😅
[removed]
“Because you are two more tickets away from winning that toaster oven?”
If you answer me these questions three, I will tell you what may be
“You got all Cs in high school?”
“Have you been drinking tonight?” (nice female officer)
“No ,not yet. You want to grab a beer?”
My buddy did that with me in passenger seat. We both got chewed for a good hour with breathalyser and such nonsense.
27 comments
“Because I let you”
Because you’re a [insert slur of choice]
Because of the bag of coke in my pocket? Or is it because of the body in the trunk?
“To fill your quota”
I’ve always seen them explode you even hint that it exists
“Because I couldn’t outrun the Amber Alert?”
You found the bodies
To blow me?
“Depends on how long you were following me”
You don’t say anything and instead projectile vomit all over the cop.
“You can smell the brick of cocaine?”
Real answer: “Yes” or anything similar, such as “Because I was speeding”. It’s basically an admission of guilt and you just made things harder for yourself.
Cause I’m young, and I’m black and my hat’s real low?
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don’t know
Am I under arrest, or should I guess some more?
Your wife couldn’t get a hold of me.
“No, sir, but here is my Uno Reverse card, so now I will ask you to step out of the vehicle….slowly with both hands up.”
Me: “Because I looked like I needed help with something.”
Cop: “Oh yeah, what is it then? What did you need help with?”
Me: “Minding my own fucking business.”
“Cause you can smell it!” while holding a box of donuts
(shout out Fluffy)
Glad California passed a law outlawing that fishing question
“Why are you asking me when you’re the one who pulled me over?”
“Because you see an older Chrysler 300 driving at 55-mph in a 65-mph zone at 2:30 am, and instead of doing your fucking job and observing a crime and THEN pulling me over, you are going to lie and tell me “your license plate light is out” hoping I have been stupid enough to drive under the influence”
Pissed him off so bad, sob made me do a full field sobriety test and ran license and registration and checked insurance, he was hoping to get me on something.
The reason I was driving slowly was it was a nice cool evening, and I was not in a hurry, I had my windows down listening to Fleetwood Mac enjoying a peaceful evening cruise until that prick pulled me over.
Cuz only gay cops pull me over.
I don’t know about a PO, but I can tell you that when a judge asks you in court if you have learned any lessons following numerous tickets, the WRONG answer is “I’ve learned I need to move my radar detector higher on my window ”
😅
[removed]
“Because you are two more tickets away from winning that toaster oven?”
If you answer me these questions three, I will tell you what may be
“You got all Cs in high school?”
“Have you been drinking tonight?” (nice female officer)
“No ,not yet. You want to grab a beer?”
My buddy did that with me in passenger seat. We both got chewed for a good hour with breathalyser and such nonsense.