Basically he had lost his temper on me yesterday. I know he’s got a lot going on. He’s super stressed and busy and he had a couple really bad days in a row like unlucky days. Money is tight and he asked me for my last bit of $ I had for a vape. I was planning to use that $ to get a fall coat cause I can’t find mine and it’s really cold out now. I had already given him my other $ I had the days before this for caffeine and sugar that he needs daily. So I was hesitant (I said yes you can use it but it does bother me a little) when he asked cause I don’t really support the vaping plus I mentioned I already gave him the other $ for his other habits and that I just didn’t understand why he needed the vape that same day. He got super mad that I was making him feel bad for asking and I was driving but he wouldn’t stop yelling at me. Saying things like he needed help from me since he was withdrawing from nicotine and I wasn’t helping him and he said “I’m gonna take my next paycheck and not let you use it unless I approve it to see how I feel right now.” This was to make a point. He knows I don’t really have a steady income right now and I rely on that for food. I kept telling him to stop yelling and to stop talking to just stop and he wouldn’t he just kept going. Daughter (3F) was in the back so she was there to experience it which I don’t like either. He wasn’t being himself it was like a switch had turned and I was really shaken up about it afterwards. When he finally stopped we were almost home and when we got home I immediately took my daughter to the park so I could cry and also be out of the house and like distance myself. Then we didn’t talk much till he woke me up in the middle of the night apologizing to me, I was half asleep so it wasn’t really a conversation. He doesn’t normally lose his cool and this seemed to be the maddest he’s ever been at me. I felt like I was being attacked. It scared me and I’m still scared by it. Wondering is this a warning sign for worse. Today he’s been very apologetic he knows he was mean as he says and asked to make sure i was not going to leave him. I just wanted to keep the peace today and didn’t really say much as I’m still processing what happened. He was looking for reassurance today and I tried to act normal. But deep down I’m sad and scared.
TLDR: husband verbally attacked me yesterday and I’m worried it’ll lead to worse behavior.
Edit to add: this is very confusing to me because about 95% of the time we are very happy and loving, he never raises his voice at me and lets me control the finances cause he doesn’t like dealing with it. Even today he was asking me and telling me what he was spending $ on from his paycheck. I don’t ask him to do any of that, but he used to be an alcoholic so ever since then we kind of just do it that way. He was saying those empty threats just to win the argument and make me feel bad. He would never actually not let me buy food or eat, etc. he was just trying to make a point of how he felt I was acting towards him. Kind of like mocking me in a way.