We (36F/37M) have been married 3 years, together for 9. I feel like I am stressed to the max and am at a breaking point. Some mornings I wake up not being able to breathe because of all the things on my mind that have to get done both at home and at work. I get stomach and back pain frequently. He says I’m dramatic. Sometimes I break down crying from all the stress and beg him for help, and maybe he’ll change his ways for a couple of days then its back to normal.
He works more hours than I do and makes more money. I have a 40-hour work week myself and I am also a part-time student. With his long hours I feel like I should be doing more work at home due to the difference in hours but I feel like I am doing everything. Cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, shopping, finances, car maintenance, planning parties, buying gifts, making plans, planning vacations…. Not only this but I could literally walk behind him picking up after him. While I’m doing all of this his face is in social media or in his work phone. Two jobs of his are to take out the trash and cut the grass and I have to fight him about that too.
Getting his attention and trying to have a conversation with him is even difficult at this point. You can’t even talk to him without him getting mad and storming off. I feel like I am taking care of a child rather than a husband.
Has anyone had success with dividing the mental load and what are your tips to manage this successfully? Thanks
TL/DR: I (36F) take on more mental load at home and I cannot get my (37M) husband to do more / change. Looking for advice.