This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Mornin’ y’all! May the person of your dreams be plucked from your imagination and placed right in front of you today.
As a guy, what is a good way to improve one’s fashion? What would be good people or resources to turn to for specific fashion advice? I’ve never had a style that really “works” for me.
I realized on my last date that even if I don’t like swaggering alpha bros, I am not attracted to super shy/intimidated guys, either. But I am worried that my acceptable range is too narrow to capture anyone…
I’m trying a hinge hack I learned from tiktok. Curious if anyone else has done it and seen good results or not?
It’s basically once you delete and start from scratch with a new account, you make your profile, and pay for the 24-hr boost. Apparently this maximizes your likes early on which makes the algorithm continue to favor you.
Then you only match people you’re pretty certain you’ll have a good convo with, again something the algorithm gives you points for.
The whole idea is to maximize your choices and teach the algorithm who to connect you with.
I laugh when Reddit dating advice says to make a lot of friends because they *will* set you up with their other single friends.
Like, first of all, everyone is busy and they are under no obligation to do that. Frankly I think this day and age people are afraid to do that because they don’t wanna have to deal with the potential breakup between friends. And in my experience, friends do not necessarily set up you up with people are remotely compatible with you. They just happen to know other single people.
I need advice. I am 31F.
**TLDR**: I need a nice way to set a boundary for a friend who seems to constantly judge my decisions when it comes to dating/hooking up.
my best friend (33f) tends to overanalyze my dating life and kinda judges me for the decisions I make. Almost like a mom would. I’m divorced, had a rebound relationship for a few months and I am currently back on the dating scene. I am being careful, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. they tell me I can’t trust anyone and i should go (painfully) slow. It doesn’t work for me though. I like to cut right through the BS of dating. I want to get married again someday and that means doing things a bit quicker than normal. I am not a young 21 year old who can take their time. I want marriage and a family.
I would swipe on the apps, match with people, talk on the apps, and then give my number to guys who I feel I would make a connection with. I never talk to more than 3 at once. I try and schedule first dates as soon as I can and go from there.
Now, I am afraid to share ANY kind of update with them in fear they will be disappointed with me or go on some spiel and guilt me for the decisions I make. (i.e. hooking up “too early” with someone)
Some examples of decisions I’ve made (that I do not regret, btw)
– They were incredibly disappointed that I made out with someone on the first date. (haven’t seen that guy since lol)
– They were upset I hooked up with a date on the 2nd date. (I ended things with this guy for other reasons)
– They were appalled I had a guy pick me up from my house for the 2nd date. She said I need to be more careful about who I give my address to. (I no longer want to pursue this guy, but he’s really sweet and nice)
(Side note: My best friend is single themselves and are [as far as I am aware] not making effort in their own dating life)
When it comes to dating, if I am actively seeing multiple people, there is absolutely no physical intimacy beyond kissing. I then widdle the “roster” down as I get to know people and go on additional dates.
Right now I am talking to two guys. One I havent met yet (and need to end things with tbh). and dating one regularly. I want to focus on the one I am **actively** dating (side note: I have been intimate with him, after the 3rd date).
*I am not talking to/texting or dating any other people at this time.*
When I make plans and tell her, she claims I am “abandoning” them to go on dates. (when I would NEVER do such a thing *if there were already plans in place)* My friend seems so negative about the dating scene right now and I don’t understand why they are taking their grievances out on me. It’s really disheartening and makes me not want to talk to them about the guy I am currently dating.
I want to be excited about this blossoming relationship but the fear of what my best friend would say (for some reason!!!) makes me bummed. And it also makes me question…am I moving too fast??
**Is there anything i can say to her to have her back off? nicely of course. i love her and value her opinion which is why this has been so hard. I guess I need a nice way to set a boundary. Like, hey, I want your thoughts and opinions on things, but I feel like lately its been more attacking on my character/decisions and it makes me feel crummy or gross for doing said things.
Maybe this is more of a vent. but I needed it. so thanks if you read this far lol.
I got ghosted by someone I’ve known for several months and I’m sad and confused.
There’s this girl who came in hot to me lol she matched with me on Facebook dating and I wouldn’t say she’s love bombing me but she immediately shot off with “first off you’re freaking handsome and have a lovely smile, how are you?”
I gotta say that the first message there had me melting lol she lived in a different part of Ohio and has one infant son. After my last situation where she had 3 kids, I’m hesitant to date a single parent. Not because I don’t like kids, but it’s a lot for someone like me who doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience.
She said she wants to have a kid again, and I would love to have a family unit one day. So it’s a lot to consider, and I don’t want to jump into anything too quick. So I told her we can just talk and see what happens.
The ghosting!!!! I just can’t anymore. I’ve been on several first dates that end with ghosting. I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong here, I’ve been nothing but kind and patient. Just about ready to give up. 40F
I am so so tired of my brain randomly throwing out made up shit/trying to hurt my own feelings regarding a recent breakup. For example, I’ll just be working and minding my own business and my brain will start thinking things like, “what if he’s already back on the apps a week after the breakup?”, “what if he’s already texting a new woman and hooking up with her?”
I DO NOT CARE. We didnt end things on bad terms, I have zero reason to make him seem like a bad guy, I really liked him but he didnt want anything long term – thats life. How do I stop these stupid intrusive thoughts? They give me anxiety for no reason.
I (F31) have been dating someone (M30) for five months. I’m self-employed and recently had some slow weeks. On top of that, on Friday, I was diagnosed with a rare illness and will need to take medication for the rest of my life because of a high risk of heart attacks.
Things are going really well for him, but my mood has been very low, especially since I got the diagnosis. We were supposed to cook together tonight, and I really could have used his support. He just called me from work to tell me about a big success and asked if we should go out for dinner to celebrate instead. But I’ve been feeling like I could cry at any moment, and because of my financial and health situation (cholesterol plays a huge part), I really didn’t want to go out and eat or spend money at a restaurant. So, I declined. We’re not spending the evening together, now.
I feel like our life circumstances have suddenly drifted apart, and I’m just really overwhelmed – on top of everything else.
What’s your experience with people who say “seeing what’s out there, looking to have some fun and maybe find a partner. I’m in no rush”?
For me, they always ended up in situationships. They didn’t know what they wanted, were emotionally unavailable, or fresh out of something.
What about you?
Just as a reminder for us in the trenches:
I just want he’d this reel on IG where someone was describing the realness of a partner you can depend on.