I (F28) left my boyfriend (M30) after being together for over 4 years. Reason as to why, was because the other person did something vile behind my back including my workplace. That essentially made a huge dent to say the least – shattered the basic foundation of trust in him (there wasn't any cheating involved). After the discovery i tried to forgive him and continue living with him. It worked for a while, but slowly i started resenting him more and more, got very irritated having him around and finding it hard to know my own worth, and to be with the person knowing what he had done to me. He agreed to my proposal of moving out and seeing if space could fix that situation. It didn't.
Now it's been 4 months. I'm starting to miss him so much it's making me sick to my stomach. I already once reached out to him and he confirmed he could try again, but i wasn't ready then to do the work it would require to try again. I was and am still shattered from actually leaving him. It was one of the hardest decisions i have had to make, breaking both of our hearts and giving up our dogs.
And here i am. Writing a reddit post about missing him and really hoping i could find myself being able to get back with him. I really want to, but at the same time i am thinking, am i wasting time for both of us. Trying to mend something what was once broken, and couldn't be fixed before, why would it now? Because time has gone by. I got space to focus on myself. Space to think, miss and cherish what was good, and what worked.
I think we had a good, progressing relationship. He's the first person i ever lived with, owned a car with and got dogs together. The best one i've ever had. If it wasn't for that betrayal, i could have seen us being until the very end of days. It changed the way i saw him. Most, if not all the glitter was gone.
TL;DR: broke up because of stacked up resentment from breaking trust and now wondering if i should try again after a break.