Inappropriately, meaning under her underwear.

Someone, meaning an adult man.

Inconclusive, meaning not enough evidence to pursue a criminal case, and the person of interest was allowed to still be around her with no consequences or guidelines to follow.

Edit: Per someone’s suggestion, adding detail.

  • 3+ years ago, my daughter reported that she was “touched inside her underwear about 5 times in the dark while her mom was away or busy watching tv”
  • When a protection order could no longer be renewed due to lack of evidence—her mom ended up marrying the guy. He is now her stepdad.
  • The incident in question has been downplayed as a misunderstanding when he helped wipe her (at the age of 6).
  • She has been in therapy, and earlier this year made alarming remarks to the therapist that led to a third evaluation; this time by a forensic psychiatrist.
  • The psychiatrist shared the final report earlier this week, with a finding that there was a boundary violation, likely the aforementioned wiping issue, stopped short of saying abuse, and suggested mom likely wasn’t paying attention and poorly handled this situation. Most of the report was focused on therapeutic relief steps and future wellbeing protocols.
  • I have a recording of her mom adamantly telling the therapist “wiping never even happened, he never wiped her…we talked about that and it didn’t happen.” But that recording is apparently inadmissible.
  • Almost forgot. I guess I’ve almost tapped out my entire life savings in this endeavor. But given the responses here, I think it’s all very much still worth it. Thank you, all.


28 comments

  1. At least make sure that person can never interact with my daughter again. How to achieve it depends.

  3. I hope she will tell me, so I can ensure it’s stopped and the pedo is beaten into the point where he can’t even hold a cup of water.

  4. I would want all information I could possibly get. But depending on the child’s age do not jump to conclusions. Kids do not always understand what inappropriate means. I said my aunt “touched me bad” when I was 4 cause I didn’t like her hugging me.

  5. I would trust what my daughter’s doctor told me. Never having her around that person and won’t be in our lives.

    The American government is never going to be trustworthy in cases with pedos and sexual assault.

  9. I would question why my child didn’t tell me this, and why they felt safer telling a pediatrician.

    Then I would work on keeping the adult responsible away from my child.

    Is this person a stranger, adult in their life, or a family member?

  11. Ask a lawyer if this can get you full custody and away from the ex wife’s new pedo husband. Have receipts and document everything. 🤷‍♂️

  12. I mean in the situation like yours I would be talking to a family law lawyer and seeing what legal remedies are possible. If no legal remedies are available I would talk to the individual and let them know that if they did anything to my daughter it would be the last thing they do. If they ask if that is a threat I would reply with “how is that a threat unless you are planning on touching my daughter?”

  14. Why does CPS get to decide if there isnt enough evidence? Isn’t that between the police and attorney general? Seems a little out of their lane…

  17. It depends who the man is. I Just wouldn’t allow him around her anymore, but depending who he is that might not be simple

  18. keep calling literally every authority figure again and again until they can’t ignore you. i know you are likely upset about this but don’t do anything drastic. if you play your cards right you might be able to get custody.

  21. allowed to still be around her 

    Hmmm, I’m the parent, I get the final say on “allowed,” actually. Unless the other person is the other parent.

  22. CPS is a joke. Go higher in the organization if you disagree with the findings or find a therapist who specializes in assessing child sexual abuse.

  23. Everyone ready to go murder hobo, nobody mentioning they should get the kid into therapy asap.

  24. I know my comment is going to come across strange for some but if you’re stuck and assistance and justice will take time, I have some advice to consider in the mean time.

    New disclosures with psych – new CPS case. Every new disclosure can be reported again.

    Protective behavior course – cps should have offered this, you can teach the practices yourself and there are lots of books and resources now. If this reaches court they are extremely particular about the names of body parts, this course also helps kids feel comfortable to speak up and know what’s right and wrong.

    Alert Alarm, that is a safe secret. They are small enough that she can hold it in her hand or even clip to shorts or place in her pocket. They make such a loud noise that if others were asleep I’m sure they would wake up.

    Inform the school, day care, GP, any other professional your child works with. Once aware things that may not have been picked up will be and has to be reported. They can also put extra support in place at school, you may see behaviour change and academic decline. Ask them to send you regular well being updates.

    Buy an emergency phone or device, in this severe circumstance could also be a safe secret and stays in the bag she takes to and from your house and is only used in emergency.

    Police also confirmed to me that any victim trying to protect themselves, are not penalized for recording others without consent. Especially in a private setting.

    I hope some of that helps, I can’t imagine what you are going through.

  26. Ppl are giving lots of good solutions but honestly? If the courts aren’t working- I’d start a social media campaign and a go fund me for bills related to the lawyer if that’s part of the problem, and maybe a petition of some sort to make it so he can’t see her EVER, not just a year. Public pressure is really helpful from what I’ve seen. But I’m also 20 so I’m inexperienced as a parent to say the least, so take my advice with a grain of salt

  28. the sad truth is that sexual abuse is extremely difficult to prove in court because it usually happens in private, or in the dark, with no witnesses and often no evidence. this is why victims seldom come forward.

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