This is partly a rant so I might be a little incoherent here and there.
I've always been the type of guy who has very few, but very close friends. And for most of my life, this has worked. I'm in university right now, as a freshman, I admit it's too early to make great friendships but I feel like most people around me have found company and are doing fun things- I haven't really found a group, or even a good friend yet, and I feel like I'm missing out. My social skills aren't particularly bad- I can talk to people, but I find myself not wanting to a lot of times, and when I do talk to people I feel like I'm boring them. And while being alone/doing things by myself does not make me uncomfortable, I do want to have friends, I do want to meet people I can express myself in front of, without having to worry about being judged.
I think I feel a strong lack of genuine human connection. It's embarrassing to admit, but it's true. And the worst thing is that I know I'm partly to blame- I try to connect with people but I think I'm getting it wrong. Everyone says that the harder you try for something, the harder it gets to achieve. I want to stop trying- but I'm worried that if I stop trying, there will be no change. I
Any advice is greatly appreciated!