TL;DR: bf contacted ex situationship but claims he had no romantic or sexual intentions. I can’t get over it.
Hi!! Sorry if this story is too long lol. So basically I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 and half years (since May 2023). He’s literally wonderful, cares A LOT about me, does everything he can for me, really loves me and acts like it, his family is great, etc, so as you can read, I am pretty happy in my relationship, he never made me doubt anything about it.
There’s only this little problem where he keeps contact and friendship with all of his ex for some reason I don’t get. I mean I keep contact with only one ex… but I mean I’ve met all these girls (3) and I’ve built a friendship with them so I’m okay with that (at first I was a little hesitant but now I get you can still be friends with a person you’ve has sex with as he states he didn’t have romantic feelings for them even during in the situationships).
But there’s this one girl he was with for 3 months in 2021 and he has told me it was really magical and he was completely in love with her, but she found out my bf’s aunt was her father’s new gf, got mad about it (she didn’t like her father) and ghosted my bf, which left him flabbergasted, he literally went crazy trying to contact her and understand (she explained it!) why she didn’t want to continue with him. She has blocked him from almost all socials since he got really irritating for her. When he told me this story I consoled him but he seemed to not care anymore, or so I thought.
After this, in November 2024, he told me he had gone into this girl’s tiktok and she has blocked him (as you can see who has visited your profile). I didn’t think too much about this since I visit and stalk profiles of people in my past too when I’m bored.
The problem comes when in January 2025, as I was at his house, he gave me his phone to text his friend to meet up. He gave me his phone with whatsapp opened on the calls tab and I saw a call that left me broken. He had called this girl! For what? She has already told him she didn’t want anything to do with him and he was dating me lol (he’s ignoring her desires too???).
I confronted him about it and he just explained this: “I was talking with my flatmate about our relationships and past situationships and obviously I talked about her and remembered our moments so I wanted to ask her if we could be friends after all this time as passed as maybe she has forgotten me because I don’t think I did anything bad to her for her to have me blocked. I don’t like having bad blood with anyone as you know so I wrote her on whatsapp, but I laid down on my bed and I accidentally pressed call and hung up immediately, she didn’t pick it up and she left me on read”.
I bought this story because I saw the conversation between him and his bestfriend and he had told him the same and was really nervous and remorseful for it. But tbh this left me with so many questions and made me VERY insecure (I consider myself really pretty but this girl was too, but she was skinnier and shorter than me, it’s difficult not to compare me to her, also with personalities). He reassured me he just wanted to be friends with her or at least make her unblock him from socials as he thought they has shared good moments in the past and now there were NO romantic or sexual feelings involved (he says this but idk what to think lol).
He has answered all my questions and during this past months he has been really sweet and loving as he has always been but something just broke inside me that day. I’m always suspicious and feel less wanted, specially the days before my periods when I have PMS and feel like shit.
I know this is probably just my insecurities showing up as he has explained everything so well to me but I don’t know, I just feel weird about it. How do I navigate this situation?