So I (27f) used to be against dinner dates, because I found them awkward, and difficult to run away from. But I've changed my mind.
Recently, I've actually started to go more on dinner dates, and found that it reveals so much about the person you're seeing, that I actually recommend it instead of something else. Of course, everyone has their preferences.
So here is a list of things of why you should take the plunge and do it. Maybe you'll find it helpful, maybe not.
-
You will see how the other person treats the restaurant staff. This is crucial when moving forward in a relationship. Do you want to be with someone who talks down to people, objectifies them, etc? I assume not. If you're in the US, you probably also want your date to tip the restaurant staff appropriately.
-
It reveals financial expectations on both sides. Is someone trying to get 2 whole lobsters and a bottle of expensive wine on your dime? It's the first date, you can leave them with the bill. SImilarly, is a guy trying to only pay for you because he is expecting "something in return", or is he paying just because it's a sweet gesture? Is the other person nickel and diming you? Are they a penny pincher, or are they splurging money that they don't have? Do they respect you wanting to go 50/50? Do you want to go 50/50? There are lots of deal breakers here both ways that will come up.
-
Table manners. Do they chew with their mouth open? Do they smack? Do they steal your food without asking? Again, you don't want to go to the movies with someone, a walk on the second, and on the third day you find out they're gross when they're dining out.
-
Are they a picky eater? Do they pick out the salad from their burger? Do they not want the sauce to touch their meat? Picky eating is fine for some people, but may be a deal breaker to others. This may also reveal some other prejudices about this person (i.e., "ew why do Japanese people eat raw fish?"-type comments).
-
Are they controlling about food? Eating out may reveal some food-related issues that honestly may be a deal breaker. If you're a food-lover going out with a gym junkie who will judge you for putting extra seasoning on your potatoes, yeah, probably not compatible. Does the person have some food-related issues that they haven't dealt with, like disordered eating? And personally, a guy who would try to order for me or control what I eat would be an absolute deal breaker, and it happens frustratingly often.
-
Do they care what they are putting in their body? Yeah, ordering dessert or splurging a bit on truffle fries is fine. Having a big steak once in a while is also fine. But dinner dates can reveal if someone, for example, cannot control their alcohol, or just have unhealthy food habits, including buttering their bacon (this example has been taken again from a personal dating experience, no thank you, I don't want a partner who is going to have a heart attack at 35).
Anyway, just food for thought (literally). I will only do dinner dates or food dates from now on as a first date. No, it's not due to free food, because I always want to split 50/50 on the first date regardless. I'd just rather be disappointed right away than two weeks later.