30F and autistic. I am being told I’m a negative person and this makes me draining to be around. I have been given this reason specifically when I ask people why I don’t see them as often anymore. I’ve tried working on it, and I thought I was making tons of progress. But I’m still being told I’m negative and since I started working on it, people are hanging out with me even less.
I’m starting to think I don’t actually know what negativity is or what it looks like. Even when I think something is positive, I’m told it’s actually negative. Yes, I’ve asked people to explain what I’m doing that’s negative or what they think negativity is. I stopped asking because I was told I was playing the victim, denouncing accountability, and arguing (which they’ve made clear is negative too).
Can I have some examples of things people might not realize are negative? And why they’re negative? I’ve figured out a few, but I’m clearly missing some because being aware of these hasn’t been good enough.
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stating that we need to prepare for certain weather (we want to go on a hike, but it will likely rain, so we should bring rain boots.) This is negative because rain is perceived as a negative weather event and it sounds like I’m hinting we shouldn’t go.
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bringing up something that was in the news. This is negative because I’m asking someone to think about an event that was probably bad, and I’m potentially looking to incite an argument.
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stating I’m sick, injured, or in pain. This is negative because it’s complaining.
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proposing alternatives to activities because the ones that were suggested are out of my budget or I’m likely to get hurt doing them (I have disabilities). This is negative because even though I’m offering solutions, I’m stating I don’t want to do something other people were excited to do.
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turning down offers to do things that I’ll likely get hurt doing or can’t afford, without suggesting something that accommodates me better. This is negative because it makes people feel guilty.
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stating I disagree with an opinion or that I don’t like something. This is negative because someone else is excited about it and I’m expressing that I’m not.
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stating I’m happier doing whatever it is we’re doing than something we generally do, even if I don’t state the thing I didn’t like. This is negative because it’s a backhanded positive statement: I’m saying I’m happy to remind people I didn’t like something that happened before.
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stating I found an alternative way to do something when something other people told me to do didn’t work for me. This is negative because I’m invalidating their advice or a method that worked for them.
I’m walking on eggshells around people to the point where I don’t even want to be around people anymore.