I’ve noticed a strange paradox in how people are perceived today.
There’s a kind of aesthetic narcissism that society not only tolerates, but openly celebrates. The person who curates appearances to project “I’m perfect,” “I’m successful,” “I’m untouchable.” Expensive cars, luxury trips, designer looks, a full-time performance of control and success. And what’s odd is that this performance is rewarded.
Meanwhile, people who are sincere, emotionally honest, or vulnerable often get judged as weak or “too sensitive.” It’s as if authenticity, the willingness to be real, vulnerable and genuinely joyful and fun has lost its social value.
Even more interesting, there’s this trend of fake stoicism: people pretending to be calm, and emotionally detached, when it’s really just another mask. A performance of strength that hides insecurity.
I’m curious how others navigate this.
How do you stay authentic in a culture that praises polished illusions and punishes emotional honesty?
EDIT: To be clear, I’m not criticizing everyone who enjoys validation or who buys and displays expensive things or celebrates achievements publicly. My point is about incentives and signaling: in some contexts (social media, certain workplaces), signals of invulnerability/control/status seem to get more approval than openness or humility. I’m not claiming to read anyone’s mind; by “fake stoicism” I mean “performative invulnerability”—a public posture that can be rewarded regardless of what’s underneath. I’m interested in when the signal crowds out the substance—when looking successful is valued more than being useful, kind, or competent. If you disagree, I’d love concrete counter-examples or better ways to measure this (e.g., reactions to admitting mistakes, engagement patterns, how people are treated after showing vulnerability).