Sorry if this post ends up being long/using fake names for privacy.
For some context, I, Jane 29nb/f, have had the worst luck with previous relationships. They’ve always started off like a dream and I’m treated so well, but since turning 18, I’ve been met with assault, cheating, drug addiction, lying, and love bombing/anxious attachment, from all of my exs. That amount of trauma from a young age left me in a state I wasn’t very proud of. I’ve done a lot of work to help myself and become a more level headed and mature person. I recently got of what you could label as my relatively healthiest relationship. We were together for almost 2 years, when he flipped on me randomly one day and ended it, kept me on the back burner for 6 months before reaching out again and traumatizing me further after admitting to some disgusting stuff he did during our split. This ended the relationship for good and has left me with no feelings for him other than hatred and resentment. This was 4 months ago. I’ve been in therapy until recently (can’t afford it at the moment) and am absolutely moving on and just trying to find happiness. I’m a big lover and I crave relationships outside of my friendships, even if it’s not serious. So 2 months ago I got on hinge. My expectations were to match with people but have minimal, to no conversation and not meet up with anyone, that’s how it’s always been in the past.
I matched with John, 29m, after being on the app for a few days. We had matched about a year ago when my ex and I were split, but we never messaged each other. Im very attracted to him so I sent him a like and he ended up messaging me this time. We got talking and made plans to meet. I went into it expecting to maybe get drinks once and never see him again. I didn’t think I would ever meet someone through a dating app that I could actually connect with. It’s been 2 months now of seeing each other very regularly. We go on dates, spend whole days together, he keeps me company at the laundromat, and many other activities. We align on most things and I think our personalities balance each other out a lot. He has showered me with flowers, wine and food, and dates. He texts me through the day and has sent me a thoughtful personalized good morning message since he got my number, even pre scheduling them when I was out of the country so I could receive them in my timezone. He picked me up from the airport recently. Paid for parking just so he could wait inside for me, and met me with flowers and a big container of home cooked food.
Here’s the thing, we originally both bonded over the fact that we’re trying to move out of state in the spring to two different cities. 2hr flight or a 13hr drive apart. We both went into this thinking there wouldn’t be a spark or it would be very causal. He recently informed me that he’s very into me and “if it’s not you, it’s nobody until I move”. And that he “wants to show me what it’s like to be treated well and taken care of for once”. Which he has done nothing but that. He’s a complete and true gentleman and he hasn’t pressured me whatsoever and been so patient and communicative, something I’m not at alllllll used to. We haven’t been intimate yet, just cuddled, kissed and spent a lot of time together. We’ve began meeting each other’s friends. I have started to catch feelings because honestly, if it wasn’t for us moving, this is what I’ve been looking for. I understand it’s very early, and the circumstances are not great. I’m quite afraid to get attached or hurt again, I don’t want to put myself in the position for more heartbreak. I don’t know what to do. This wasn’t the plan. And I’m worried it’s too soon after my previous relationship despite feeling nothing for that anymore. I don’t know what do to or how to navigate these feelings. And I don’t want to scare him off either. Idk I’m just looking for advice on how to move further with this. Any input would be useful at this point.
TL;DR I met a guy in hinge expecting nothing serious and now we both have caught feelings despite moving to different places in the springs.