I don’t know how much more I can take…
We have been married for 20 years, 3 kids and up until a year ago I was a sahm. There has been a lot of ups and downs in our marriage but we’ve always been able to work things out. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, home organizing, homework help, school correspondence, budgeting and bill paying. He has zero money management skills and while he makes good money, he spends without regard to budget or if we have the money in the account. I recently took on a part time job so I could have finally feel some financial stability with my extra income coming in. With me returning to work, I have asked for help around the house, mainly meal prep and dishes. Help is sporadic and still 90% my responsibility. He is great at home maintenance projects, works a lot of hours and always has two or three side hustles going on. Our kids help by cleaning their bathroom and doing their own laundry, as well as daily help with kitchen chores.
I recently went on an overnight trip with two of my kids. He had stayed home with our other kid and they had been busy doing some outside home stuff. During that time, the dishwasher had been unloaded but some stuff was left on the counter instead of being put away. I said, “do you need me to show you where these go so next time you know?” He said no, I’m lucky he even did the dishes and to shove it up my ass.
Oh and he said it to me in front out our 15 yr old son.
Was I wrong to expect that a job should be done correctly and all the way instead of halfway? I’m tired if asking for or expecting help I need and getting the bare minimum in return. I’m exhausted from telling him my feelings and being told things like this or laughed at.
I’m hurting and just don’t know how much more I can deal with.