We’ve been together for almost 5 years and living together for 4 years now. Because of his burntout I feel like my needs in the relationship is somewhat neglected.
Context is that he has to travel for work 1-1.5h each way, 4 days a week. He said work, including travel time, has burn him out. I on the other hand is lucky enough to have 2-3 WFH days each week.
Result of this:
1. after work we do dinners, then he’d go to his video gaming until bed time. Sometimes, we do tv shows or movies.
2. On the weekends he sleeps in. I’m talking about waking up after 2PM (today it was 4PM).
3. Intimacy has gone down drastically in the past 2 years. I’d be lucky to be getting twice a week (which hasn’t happened in so long).
4. We don’t have time to go out, on the weekends he just wants to stay home and be comfortable because the crowd overwhelms him.
(note: he is diagnosed with ADHD and taking meds so it plays a part in the above too).
I don’t mind the gaming after work because I do play games too. But at least my ideal weekends would be us going out doing anything outside the house together, a walk, picnic, run, eat out etc. But it seems like it’s a lot for him? I’ve voiced this out over and over and he keeps saying that it’s because he’s constantly tired and burntout. I end up nagging him all the time about this and it is not helpful at all (as he has said).
I want to be supportive but at the same time my heart goes, well what about my needs to? Why is a bare minimum seem a lot to ask?
Any advice how to approach this?
TLDR: how to approach partner being ‘burnout’, resulting in my own needs in the relationship is not being met?