I’m elated and just wanna share.
28F dating 29M. I’ve had a slew of lovers (if you could call them that I guess). I never really had an issue with options, I suppose. But none of them were ever attentive enough, chose me often enough, knew how to be mindful of my feelings well enough. I needed more and I just about gave up.
Then came along my beau… we met on Hinge, we’ve only been dating several months, and I’ve seen more genuine emotional intelligence out of him than anyone I’ve ever met. Even the girlies, which was unfathomable for me.
He’s well to do, has his own ambitions (that honestly surpass mine, which I haven’t been able to say for others), his quirks match mine, our cultures blend together, and he never makes me feel uncomfy. He inspires me to be at my best, and he allows me to do the same for him.
He’s always respected my boundaries (and trust me, I’m the kind to be EXTRA hyper-vigilant about performative behavior) and is unbelievably intentional about building this long-lasting relationship with me. I know we’re in the honeymoon phase now, but I just don’t know if we’ll ever slow down. We talk about issues with such care for each other. We grow closer each time because the way we handle conflict makes us both feel seen.
He’s proud to talk about me to his friends and has even told his family about me. I’m set to meet them during the holidays, and he mine.
I was celibate for almost a year before I met him, and I made it pretty difficult for anyone to cross every comfort threshold. He passed with rocket colors.
He told me the L-word first, and he shows me he means it every day. He isn’t perfect, just like nobody would be. But he tries and makes the effort when he has the capacity, genuinely, and that’s what matters.
My advice to the single girlies: Do. Not. Settle! But don’t wait for him to find you. Sometimes, the perfect man for you is just waiting for someone to see him as he is. Know what you want, keep what you need, and stay firm.
To the fellas (when applicable): please, invest in genuine compassion and empathy. I think the general consensus from women is that men tend to lack it, especially for the female experience. Being vulnerable is okay, and loving your girl the way she wants to be loved is okay. Very, very not gay if that’s what you’re concerned about (for why anyway).
I may feel differently about him one day. Who knows. But right now, I just wanna bask in this happiness.